Weekly Log - 11 through 17

Mon May 11

... that is all.

Tue May 12

Got a call from the agency, warning me once again that my interview is tomorrow and that I should dress formally. I went through my wardrobe until it became clear I am the proud owner of no formal shirts. Which, at age 23, makes me proud. I never found anything so important or rated any event so highly that I needed to dress formally for it. Not weddings, not jobs, not funerals... unfortunately, that is about to change today.

I went to Pops' workplace, and after explaining my situation (and hearing him complain we waste too much money - thanks, Pops, that actually makes me feel better I'm unemployed!) he agreed to lend me some cash. I went to the mall with Kid Bro, bought myself a "formal" shirt and still had some cash left to buy him a t-shirt. We had lunch there too, and then came back home.

You know what bothers me? The interview is on the 13th. Call me superstitious - but Murphy and I have been at it for many years and I know he doesn't let this sort of opportunity pass by.

Wed May 13

I dressed formally today. To tell you the truth, it was a relief to get all that shit off me, since I felt trapped inside a wooden crate with "Copy" printed in bright red ink on the front. I arrived on time to the interview (early, even) and did my best to look, sound and act peachy. A lot of more personal questions were involved at this point, and those are the ones that actually doom me. Experience of several years has taught me what I want to answer is usually not what people look for in a new employee.

Over the course of the past few weeks, people who know I have been trying for this gig have advised me to remain positive, smile a lot and try to be nice and friendly. While being "positive" is a challenge in itself, I have tried my best to look and sound employable. That meaning, being just like the people I have seen employed over me in the past. Today, I not only dressed formally, I also did several rituals to look more like what they're looking for, although I think this is a facade and likely to be found faster than if I did like I usually do and simply was myself: I took special care with make-up and concealing the bags under my eyes, I spoke in a more agreeable tone of voice and stamped a smile on my lips that would make Barbie green with envy. Because apparently it doesn't matter how skilled you are, it matters how good you'll look behind a counter.

The question I felt less at ease with was "Give me a good reason to employ you". This, of course, is a trick question meant to see what you value about yourself as a working person. From beneath layers of Highly Employable Fashion (which was, might I add, very well accepted in the interview, as the interviewer herself spoke at length about nail and make-up care and told me I had no problems there), Seion hollered an answer I knew I couldn't give. As such, I attempted to tell her what she wanted: what I value about myself as employability goes. This being, I actually give a shit about doing my job, and I consider myself more responsible than half the people I see behind counters these days, who will answer their phone at will and leave to smoke a fag in expedient time. I said this in a more professional way, but that was the gist of it. Another trick question was asking me what my greatest achievement was. My gut instinct told me I never achieved anything more than fairly easy and meaningless goals, and as such I had to settle for the enrollment in college. (which was not so much an achievement as writing a free pass for a few years worth of bullshit).

I guess I need to wait now, and see how it goes.

Thu May 14

Goodnight nurse. The call I've been dreading for three weeks finally arrived. "We are sorry, you were disqualified on the interview". Now as I promised myself, I will insult anyone who comes talk to me about positivism or The Secret bullshit again like a tennis machine with Tourettes. Because I am a negative broad and I have tried my best to do all the pussified things people told me I should. I have been positive, I have kept hope, I have been nice to people, I have smiled, I have tried to see things in a less harsh light, even when my gut feeling told me I was being an idiot. So yeah, anyone who comes around tooting that shit happen to me because of my attitude will be yelled at until their body absorbs back their ears in an attempt to protect the brain.

Now that I have regained control of my normal self, excuse me while I go in a 24 hour bout of drinking and creating new and improved ways to cuss, because that's what I do best and it tends to make me feel slightly better.

Fri May 15

After several hours of booze and curses I now feel like a regular human being and can resume the normal course of my day: mailing resumes, posting ads and dooming the fact I wasn't born a squirrel. I went to another interview this morning, got a call yesterday for a job on the other side of Lisbon. It's far the crow away, but the payment seems intriguing.

I was surprised at the reaction of the interviewer. He said he loved my resume and that I seemed to fit the wanted profile for the job. He asked me if I would be willing to go to the company itself for an interview today, and I of course said yes. So either today or on Monday, I am to expect a call from him. I can tell you already there was no call today.

Weekend May 16 - 17

Crow. I won't be sad if I don't hear anything about jobs and interviews for the whole weekend. I think it's more unnerving to be on the lookout and waiting for interview results than having a job you know how to do and can do easily.

A lot of movies were seen this weekend, as usual, I don't know if I'll have the time or availability to review everything. I seem to have fallen in a Stephen King loop: I saw Cujo the other day, and Riding the Bullet a while ago, as well as Misery and IT (which I am excited about reviewing, actually, since I have a lot to say about it). Add to this that I've seen The Shining (years ago), Carrie and several straight-to-video ones over the past few years. I also wish I could write a review for The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I saw again this weekend, but every time I try to do it, I just don't know where to start. Is it possible I have met my match and this is truly an absolutely indescribable movie? I mean, it's crazy enough that you have to watch it to even believe it was done...

My downloads have not been very famous, and the lack of DVDs or the cash to buy the good stuff (because games lag on the ones I get at the chinese store) has rendered me without new stuff. So I am completing the old stuff: finishing all acolytes in SH:0, getting all endings in Shinobido, trying to pass a bloody difficult level in Demon Stone, trying to get all collectibles in Bully, thinking of restarting a game of the original Silent Hill, trying to get a better rank in RE:Veronica... it's at times like these I am sure I march to a different drum. Everyone's hyped about the new generation consoles... and I'm going back to the origins. I've given some thought to trying to plug in my old Genesis and see if it still works...