YouTube Wednesday with Poles

Wow. Just... wow. Up until now I thought pole dancing was an eye sore when done by males, but this gentleman just convinced me otherwise.

Then again it might be the leather trousers. I love the leather trousers.

Weekly Log - 19 through 25

Monday Oct 19

Ah, Monday. What an endless pain in my read, recurring every week for the rest of my life and beyond. It's like turning an hourglass filled with bunny droppings, every seven days. A thorn with no rose. A cloud with no silver lining. A chocolate bread with shit instead. The Rickroll video uploaded instead of the latest episode of whatever it is you wanna watch (probably Naruto). Murphy's own way to troll you periodically.

Just when you start getting comfortable with the weekend, it's time to get your ass off the bed and your hide to work.

Tuesday Oct 20

And the bullshit continues: will we move, will we stay. I'm still putting my money on the moving. Seems highly unlikely they'll lower the rent enough for us to keep the place. Whatever gives me the less of a bother I'll take at this point. I'm sick of the issue.

We had a mega day at work - meaning, all the centre working on the same campaign, divided in teams and going for a given prize. The prize was a handbag (an ugly handbag), and my team was named Woody Allen (tsc, not even on purpose...). The theme was cinema, unfortunately it was selective cinema, so no David Cronenberg, no Quentin Tarantino...

Wednesday Oct 21

Let it rain! On my way to work, it started pouring like nobody's business!

Rain enhances my creativity, I think. I have a cunning plan (insert Baldrick impersonation here) to surprise my cousin for his birthday, by showing up at his house unannounced and troll the shit out of him. It's happning next Sunday and if it all goes according to plan, it will be a time of many lulz and an occasion for future "and hey remember that time when we....?" chats.

As for work... a woman yelled at me for nearly ten minutes today. I was finding it odd it wasn't happening, seeing as I know the telemarketing business well. Sometimes the best thing about my days is the weather and the fact that I don't need to live through them again. I image how Mario feels doing the same fuckin' Super Mario Bros. over and over, only to fall always on the same fuckin' pit...

Thursday Oct 22

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. The same piss-bad mood I kept for most of my previous week is creeping back into my bones. There was a migrain splitting my skull as soon as I got my head off the pillow. Coffee was weak. Forgot my jacket (but remembered to buy my pass, thank crow). Another asshole decided I was a good place to vent whatever the Hell is wrong with their life, so I got another screeching call. Didn't eat anything until dinner because I was in a hurry to get my ass wherever I wanted to go. Full trains, full buses, a motherfuckin' idiot driving the latter one back home. Get me off the street before I go absolute batshit.

The plan to surprise my cousin seems well on its way, though.

It's a good thing I write about my days. I live from Friday to Friday. The rest would be a complete blur if I wasn't keeping track of it. In fact...

Friday Oct 23

...If Friday was a man, I'd marry it in an instant.

But a man it isn't: my first call of the day was a refusal, which really set the tone for the rest of the work shift. I managed, at much cost, to recover from the blow. I think I sounded so pissed on the phone people didn't want to tell me they wouldn't do the survey, so they either did it, or hanged up in my face. The next time someone comes talk to me about the power of positive thinking, I'll positively rip their little hearts out!

After the shift was done and I had earned my paycheck (I got paid today, in fact), a co-workwe gave me a ride to the mall. I bought my cousin his birthday gift, ordered a couple books from me (taking advantage of the fact they're on sale, nobody's spending their cash on books these days) and had some chinese food for dinner. I had decided a few days ago that I didn't feel like remembering my name at 2 AM today. Mission accomplished: there was nobody to go out with, so I went out myself, bought a shitload of beer, took it home, made myself some snacks, popped that sucker open, and around midnight I might as well have been Inigo Montoya. Someone killed my father. They should prepare to die.

Weekend Oct 24 - 25

Operation Troll My Cousin didn't go as planned. And we were so close!!

But next time I get him. Happy birthday, guy. May Death get confused on the way to your house.

Weekly Log - 12 through 18

Monday Oct 12

You can party like there's no tomorrow, still you know the next day is Monday, and you've gotta get yourself to work. And even if you attempt to forsake your worries for the weekend (in which I failed horribly), come Monday they'll be here waiting for you like a congregation of evil grinning imps, set for a new fight. It's like a boxing episode of Looney Tunes: the round count is endless and the rules are being kept by a fuckin' rabbit. Gunnysacking? Fuck yes.

Mum changed her mind (happens very often now) and is telling me to fight for this house this time. I am all for it: I picked this place because I liked it. Not the area, but the house itself. Fuck the area: when I close my front door, the world outside disappears. The perspective of moving yet again and picking up all my shit to take it somewhere else is not a dear one, either. There may be a way, so let's do it. let's do anything. Just don't tell me to fuckin' wait: I've been waiting forever!

It seems too simple, you know? Where's the hidden dagger? I can't see one, but I know there must be one. Things are never simple for me. There has to be something else in this story...

Mum's stroll down to the South is still assured. She spends a good deal of time reminding me why: my grandparents are old, someone has to take care of them, someone has to take care of their business. They won't last for long. I've been hearing this rap for years: they won't last for long. I'm sorry if it's so hard to believe this time. They've yelled "wolf" often enough to discredit themselves.

Today I'm left with Pops.... another pain in my crack. Dinner went quietly. More and more I get the feeling my father is disappointed in himself, and that is dawns on him he has a 24 year old daughter he knows absolutely nothing about. I don't worry about it, though. When I stretched out my hand, he refused to take it. I'm sorry, but I'm 24, I have a job I need to excel at, a brother to keep, a house to find, debts to pay, shit to clean. It's not my place anymore to worry about that. I went, I ate, I made pleasant conversation, I came back home.

Ave, Monday. Those who are about to die salute you.

Tuesday Oct 13

I forgot my cellphone at home this morning. I also forgot to restock my bag with the usual pankiller and aspirin, and crow knows I need one or the other today. I think I'm getting a cold which manifests in the form of very annoying coughing. It's a pain in the ass, to be talking to a client and suddenly get tossed into a coughing fit. Nearly cost me a sale today.

I also got confirmation I'm gonna see Depeche Mode next month... a friend bought me a ticket (seriously Annie, you shouldn't have... thank you so much. I promise I won't mope around mid-concert and I won't be crying if they sing Home this time. This is one I want to enjoy to the fullest). Hot damn!

Wednesday Oct 14

Boy is the morning rotten when you're having a good snooze. You know I'm still thinking about that contact where I coughed? Especially because I've been keeping an eye out for better job offers, and the market gets uglier with each passing day. I advise anyone who fears Death to take a gander at the state of unemployment in this country, so they have something more tangible to fear.

Well, let's not be hasty. I never gained anything from showing my game and worrying about the bet. I'm still seeking offers, constantly in fact, but I plan to hold my seat with this gig for as long as it's humanly possible. I have to make sure nothing will stand between me and this job. I'm not taking days, I'm not taking chances, and whoever tries to fire me will have a very rotten time explaining to me the why. I'm not losing this one on my own accord.

In fact, today was one of those motherfucker days at work. I was about to hit record refusals. I hate people who decide, in mid call, they're too fuckin' important to answer a survey. I'm not sure anymore if it's the task that's ungrateful, if the people are ungrateful, or if more people should be ran over by buses. A comforting though is that the Universe is completely indifferent to us all, including people like this, and nobody is really that important. I hang on to it whenever my day's being shit.

Thursday Oct 15

Someone once suggested that this reality is another planet's Hell. I think it was Aldous Huxley, but I don't wanna lead you wrongly on that one. I've always seen Hell in a sort of different light. Punishment should fit the crime, we have all heard, but more importantly, punishment should fit the punished. Hell as most religions conceive it is a self-sufficient system: demons, fire, physical pain when you no longer have a physical body, and thanks to some Italian dude the Church didn't like all that much, some of the most creative things ever to haunt the imaginations of scholars and literature students everywhere.

Everyone loves a personalized service, and I don't think Hell is any different. If we believe popular wisdom, Death treats everyone the same, it's once you're past it that you go on to be treated as you deserve. It would be rather unfair that we were all punished the same. It can be torture for me to be skewered while I listen to Brazilian music, but someone who likes Brazilian music won't feel the same, right? And if we're talking about neverending powers and possibilities, I do think Hell should come at a more personal level. So how about a personal Hell, meant to keep you in fear, distress, pain and suffering for finite or infinite amounts of time?

A personal Hell. Can you imagine something as bad, or worse, than physical pain? Frustration? Guilt? Fear? How about sheer panic? Can you build your own personal Hell? I think we do.

Friday Oct 16

Slow day at work. I did manage to complete 21 sales - a personal record - by the end of the day. I have a feeling this isn't going to last: calls were flowing better than they usually do.

Murphy pretty much left me alone today (thank crow the bastard is busy fucking himself somewhere else), so it was slow and quiet. I spent my evening browsing the Internet for houses for rent. Whatever my situation is, I want to be ready for it: if I keep the place, I keep the place, and if I have to move, I want to know where beforehand.

Two places are for rent just across the street from where I currently am. One has all its divisions painted lime green (oh sweet Mustakrakish on a stick... the places people live in... wonder what they'll say about mine when I move...) and the other has no pictures, but it's pretty much the same building. I don't know - maybe a rental home is the best option. I'll be out in the street if they decide I am (with a period to move my shit elsewhere of course), but the price difference is astronomical. I saw places at half my current rent a month... and I'm still doubting I can keep this house anyway.

I ended up pretty depressed by day's end, bought some beer, fired up some punk rock and drank it. That about did it. I went to bed back to my normal, angry self.

Weekend Oct 17 - 18

Not much to do, no money to go out anyway. I stayed home and looked at the computer monitor. So many years and I still am amazed at the things I can conjure up on it. Got the word quota back in order - forgot to update the blog. I have a lot of shit do review, but I sometimes get a hard time reviewing it. In how many words can you review a real piece of shit? One: shit!

Youtube Wednesday with 'Avatar' trailer

Ladies and gentlemen, with this I would like to announce the next flick I'm watching in theater. Come join me!

Weekly Log - 05 through 11

Monday Oct 05

Today is a national holiday (Proclamation of the Republic), which means absolutely jack to me other than I don't have to go to work. It rained all day (finally!) and I got some shit done around the computer. Namely, clean up and organize files. Now to do the same to the rest of the bedroom...

A long weekend is always nice - it's a pity it isn't happening at the end of the week, instead of the beginning. All opinions say the party will be epic.

Tuesday Oct 06

In four days, I'm 24. I've been on the surface of this place for 24 years. I don't know if I should celebrate or barf.

They swapped me to the middle of the center, at work. I lost my place at the window, which is a really bad bitch. I'm not overly big on sunshine, but it was nice to have something else to look at other than the four walls of a cubicle. The view wasn't great, but the architecture is nice in this place. I finished Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow as well... it's a nice game, one of those that makes me thing about really getting a handheld.

Wednesday Oct 07

It rained all night - I love it, but I'm now worried we'll have rain for the mega birthday party. Still, it was nothing short of awesome, to lie down and listen to the rain fall. I missed it terribly. It's been years since I've seen genuine, 100% lousy fuckin' weather: rain falling, thunder roaring, lightning crashing... Lightning crashes, a new mother cries... Fall rules.

Thursday Oct 08

The human memory is something truly remarkable. Try as I might, and I did today, I cannot remember where I was ten years ago. There are a lot of things I can't remember, I realize, and which I am positive happened. I know I visited several places with my parents... the big greenhouse in Lisboa, the Aquarium, a dog show... and yet I hold absolutely no memories of such. Just like I can hardly remember my father taking any meals with me and my Mum. I remember him getting home, but not having meals. And I am positive that at some point, he must have taken a meal with us...

I was at Disneyland... and I remember my Mum being pissed for the whole trip, and being divided between wanting to have fun and not leaving her alone. I can't remember how I felt throughout my parents' divorce, although I recall most of it very clearly, and I reach the conclusion that I can't remember what I felt because I felt absolutely nothing. I can remember riding the bus to and from school with Iron Maiden on my walkman. I can recall every bedroom I ever slept in, but not what went on in the rest of the house. I can remember when my parents lived in different floors of the same house, and I would climb up and downstairs to try and be with both. I can recall being alone, and not wanting to go to that pit of horror and lies and despair I called a school. And having in mind how things turned out for me, my stay at that place becomes even darker in my memory. Teacher that inspired me... stories I heard... teenage moments of glory... some co-eds, some friends that disappeared (thank crow)... some more worthy to remember than others. I wonder where they're now... I hear a few of the girls have babies now, some are married... some have great jobs and most are engrossing the long lines of unemployment.

I can recall my first kiss. I wish I couldn't, because I know well how that shit turned out. Yes, that part should be blocked from my memory, but I know it won't. I can recall most of my disappointments, the lessons Life taught me over and over... and the bullshit. Oh brother, can I recall the bullshit. It comes to my memory like kitty litter to my nostrils on a hot day. I remember hatred, and rage, and frustration... I know frustration pretty well. Despair. Depression. Not those many tears.

It's been almost ten years since I gave my life a good cry.

Friday Oct 09

Happy birthday Madeen!

I woke up with half an hour for the bus and two problems: my father and my mother. Mum was bitching Pops wouldn't give her any money, and Pops called me to try and agree a lunch date. We ended up settling for dinner on Monday. My bus driver was apparently high since he spent half the trip sucking on his teeth and then stopped in the middle of traffic to pick up a wrench forgotten by the side of the road. Work was slow, few sales, not looking so good. By the time I picked up Jandeku at the train station, I was about to murder someone with my own hands.

Madeen and I agreed we wouldn't get upset until the 11th... good luck with that bub. Because even when I try to lock all the bullshit in the closet, it can somehow pick locks!

Weekend Oct 10 - 11

What a party... sangria, good music, a delicious cake, a great bar, drunken talk and football at the park where I used to play when I was a kid. Forget about forsaking everything until the 11th: I quit midway. All the things nibbling at my brain won't let go of me just like that... I must have ulcers the size of crow only knows what.

Still no news about my situation: do I keep the house, am I out on the street... and if I must get a new one, will I rent or buy... can I keep this job for long enough, will a better offer turn up... the waiting is killing me. I want to rip all this apart like a band-aid, quick and easy, and I cannot. I have to wait. The waiting can kill you, boy can it kill you.

1985

I was born October 10th, 1985. Here are some fun facts about this year.

- USA for Africa was formed in January of 1985, and We Are the World hit top charts for weeks on a row. Several Live Aid concerts around the USA to fight hunger in Ethiopia.
- Guns N' Roses was formed as a band in 1985, as well as Radiohead.
- A comprehensive analysis of the top albums of 1985 shows people were listening to pretty good shit in the year I was born. Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen was on high, shoulder to shoulder with the Dire Straits, Price and the Revolution and Phil Collins... and this.
- Uzumaki Naruto, from Naruto, shares his birthday with me - believe it!
- For those of you who love mecha, Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam made its debut on Japanese TV in 1985 as well, and ran all through to 1986.
- Cinema in 1985 also had its shining moments. Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club, Day of the Dead, King Solomon's Mines, The Jewel of the Nile, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Red Sonja, Runaway Train all came out in 1985 and I would recommend every one of them.
- Yul Brynner died in 1985... and if you didn't grow up with cowboy movies, this means nothing to you, but he was one of The Magnificient Seven.
- Amadeus wins the Academy Award - pretty good flick, though historically inaccurate.
- In 1985 Nintendo was on the run, Super Mario Brothers having been released on September of this year, the NES coming to international knowledge. Atari was still on the race but losing it fast for the NES, and Commodore had just released the Amiga computer.
- Everyone is bouncing back from the videogame crash of 1983 - games are getting popular again by now, thank crow.
- A few good books also saw their release in 1985. Namely, Isaac Asimov published Robots and Empire, Clive Barker spawned The Damnation Game and Stephen King leaked The Skeleton Crew. The Dunwich Horror and At the Mountains of Madness and Other Novels, both by H.P. Lovecraft, were also published in the same year.
- In 1985 Marvel is doing crossovers like crazy. One of the joined pairs is Wolverine and the Fantastic Four. The clawed canuck was also put against Dazzler the very same year, a combination most Marvel fans claim to be hideous and barf-inducing.
- The Wolverine and Kitty Pryde miniseries, however, is running at this time, prettily in fact. Ogun is still alive and Wolverine wants his head (do check it out, it's rather interesting...)
- Several comics for several previously mentioned teams paralel to the X-Men began in the 1980's - Alpha Flight has its own airing time in 1985, but groups such as Excalibur, X-Factor and the New Mutants begin in the same decade. Psylocke, Forge and Rogue join the X-Men officially.
- Nobody gives a shit for Batman in 1985 - sales hit an all-time low, after which the hero is revised from the Adam West-esque thing it started off as, to the dark hero we know today.
- Mikhail Gorbachev becomes de facto leader of the Soviet Union in this year.
- Worldwide testing for AIDS is approved, once and for all, to try and gain a better control of the disease.
- This is also the year of the New Coke (or rather, Coca-Cola as we know it, since the formula was altered, for the dismay of many).
- The Unabomber makes the news in May by blowing up a lot of shit.
- First airing of the Discovery channel: June 17, 1985 - although we're still far from series like Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs.
- 40th birthday of the nuke that sent Hiroshima to the Moon.
- The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts in November 18 of this year.
- Tetris is also created in 1985, for the delight of many, myself included just 6 years ahead.
- Graphic novel Watchmen is set in 1985 as well - an alternative 1985, but still...
- The world counts 4.830.919.000 inhabitants at this point. The actual count is almost twice as much.
- Some people also born in 1985: porno actress Eva Angelina, actress Keira Knightley, soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. I could make a thousand jokes from these three names alone.
- 1985 in other calendars: 2529 in the Buddhist calendar; 4621 in the Chinese calendar; 1405 in the Islamic calendar; Showa 60 in the Japanese calendar; 5745 in the Hebrew calendar; 473385600 - 504921599 in Unix time; MCMLXXXV for Romans.
- In chinese astrology, this is a Yin Wood year. Wood is associated with the liver in Chinese medicine, the East, Springtime, the planet Jupiter and the color green. Those born in it are under the sign of the Ox. Their motto is "I Persevere".