#10 - The Little Mermaid The Little Mermaid bard is an idea I had a while ago. The idea of a bard who loses his voice is a nice one - or, like the nymph Eco, one who can only repeat what is told to him by way of some curse. The Silent Casting feat is a must-have, of course, and it should be agreed with the DM that it comes naturally to the bard as a starting feat... or at least, for the duration of his curse, after which it can be replaced or not.
The Story: This bard was an extremely talented singer in the beginning. The sort that could easily make a living from street performance alone, as his voice enticed people into listening for long periods and tipping his efforts well. Until the fateful day he had the idea of singing a limerick for a sorceress who happened to ignore him on said street: she cast a curse upon him that he wouldn't be able to speak or sing until he had earned a right to a voice again. The variations are infinite: he can be doomed to only say and sing the words in the limerick that doomed him. Or repeat only the last thing he's told. Or he can only be able to speak when he has something of true relevance to say.
The Quest: His quest and first priority are, of course, recovering the ability to sing. Again, the variations are enormous: he may only be able to sing once he attained a certain level; he may have to complete a series of sidequests or a number of tasks (like improve the life of a number of people); he may have to find and kill the sorceress that cursed him; or he may have to find a specific Remove Curse scroll, as rare as a donkey born without balls. Favored Instrument: Anything that can effectively be accompanied by voice. A guitar works well, an accordion makes for some comic relief, a harp would go well with repeating only the last thing said to him. Pays homage to the Greek tradition. Music Type: Depends on what instrument he uses, but the more expressive, the better. He may use music as a way to communicate and give away how he is feeling, since he cannot speak. Roleplay Tips: It is hard to roleplay a character with major impediments. I know - I used to roleplay a blind samurai, and I still used the verb "to see" very often, although he could not. This guy would use song to express himself: fear, anger and love may be easy, but try playing your way into making someone understand you're hungry, or ill, or you know there's a trap up ahead. Writing would be a way to go over it, but if it can be expressed through gestures and song, it is preferable. Once he regains his voice, assuming he can, this guy can be either a regular chatterbox - because he hasn't spoken in so long and has so much to say - or a very quiet person - since through his years of silence he became accustomed to not speaking and making himself understood in few or no words.
***
#09 - The Blind There is a Japanese legend about a blind bard who was once bothered by spirits. He played so well even a dead princess and her court demanded to hear him. The bard was oblivious to the fact everyone he sang to every night was dead, and he was in fact sitting in front of a large, ancient cemetery. Eventually, a monk discovered what was happening, and decided to help the bard escape certain doom. After all, once he finished the epic poem he was singing, the dead princess would most certainly want to keep him.
So the monk painted the bard's body with a spell meant to keep him invisible. That way, when the princess' goons came to pick him up, they would be unable to see him and assume he disappeared, so the bard would be freed. The problem is, when the monk painted the bard's body, he forgot the ears. When the princess' guard came to pick him up the following night, he saw only a pair of floating ears, which he immediately ripped away from the invisible head to bring to the princess, assuming the bard had in fact disappeared and only the ears were left. Thus the bard became deaf.
Playing someone like this requires a lot of adjustments and agreements with the DM. It's hard to do, but with the right feats and adjustments, it may be a very interesting character with very interesting... views on life. (pun obviously intended)
The Story: This bard was born blind (in which case, level and feat adjustment apply for him to be able to function fairly normally) and learned how to play at a very young age, eventually becoming very good. So good in fact, his influence reaches even the spirits. Since the bard is blind and cannot see who is and isn't undead, he treats the undead as regular living people - including any damage, enchantment and critical hit he may deal when using music. And I realize that even if we do not see them, they are still undead and take damage as such, but it's just a way to put it. His sight or the lack thereof has nothing to do with his ability, which comes exclusively from the way he plays. The Quest: In keeping up with the original legend and the bard's influence on the undead, you may choose to give him a quest to bring peace to revolted souls. It is his sworn duty to aid spirits in passing to the other side through song, and exorcising places haunted by the undead. Favored Instrument: In the original legend, the bard plays a string instrument. I would go with a blow instrument here, though. it would be easier for a child to learn and doesn't need as much maintenance as a string instrument. Music Type: Calm, soothing songs. Check out any CD with Celtic music performed on a flute and you get a slight idea. The kind of song you'd play to take a quiet snooze. Roleplay Tips: This is the most tranquil fellow anyone will meet. There are certain limitations to the actions he may take, being blind: he would need some aid in certain tasks, his speed would be much inferior to that of normal characters, the Blind Fight feat is, of course, a must. Still, this is a very calm guy. He believes he was granted a power, which he must use for good. Still he is also aware he will not be able, in his lifetime, of turning every single revolted spirit out there. So he goes about his business quietly and does his thing without worrying much. In dialog, keep in mind the guy is blind. Voice tone and way of speech are more important to him than facial expressions. He is also likely to be a good diplomat and an argumentative fellow. Not being able to see, he must pay careful attention to what is said. It is his only clue if someone tries to fool or trick him.
***
#08 - Drummer Stereotype In the musical circle, the drummer is seen in pretty much the same light we in D&D see the Half-Orc: a brute, rather stupid (or very stupid, depends if you like Half-Orcs or not) and not so much a musical professional as someone who can bang the pots and pans. It's a stereotype that can be explored easily in D&D, seeing as we do have Half-Orcs and we do have bards. And especially since the drums are closely associated with savage tribes (barbarians, for instance), we may have a multiclass in hands right here. Keep in mind, though, while I'm using the Half-Orc as an example, you don't need to make the Drummer into one. A regular Human barbarian works just as well.
The Story: He was a mediocre warrior in his tribe. He wasn't as good physically as most of the other tribe members. In battle, they started putting him in the back, banging a drum to raise the morale, instead of charging along with the others and not only getting very hurt, but also embarrassing himself and his tribe's good name. Once he had the drums, though, he was a prodigy in keeping his people going for as long as needed. And if an enemy happened to cross the attack line, he could always attack as easily as any other. The Quest: Well, if he is so good in his tribe, why the Hell would he want to leave? Same reason as any drummer: he wants recognition for his musical talent. When you realize you suck at something most of your peers can do, yet exceed expectations in something they cannot, you want to be recognized. Not only by said peers, but by everyone. If his tribe already recognizes him, is time for the world to. He's going to go out there and reach for fame as a barbarian and as a bard. Favored Instrument: The drums, obviously. Music Type: You have two choices here. I like both, one more than the other. You can either go to YouTube and check Yoshiki's drum solos... or you can listen to some traditional African war drums or taiko drums. Given the fact this guy is a barbarian as first class, my preference should be clear. Roleplay Tips: Bard or no bard, he started off as a barbarian and should be roleplayed as such. With the difference this is a barbarian who's holding drumsticks instead of the usual club. Forget everything you remember ever associating with bards: he's not delicate, he's not polite, he's not patient or overly effective with words. He is no diplomat. He likes his food hot and plenty, his beer mug full, fast and loud music, and will punch in the face anyone who ever thinks he is dumb. He thinks himself to be very good (and is, in fact) and will show it in every available occasion, becoming a little peeved if you disagree. He is quick to anger and prone to violence.
***
#07 - Desperado In the movie Desperado (1995), Antonio Banderas (brrr) plays a mariachi - a street music performer in Mexico - out to kill the son of a bitch who murdered his wife and shot him in the hand, impairing his ability to play the guitar. I think we had enough impairments with #10 and #9, this guy is all about his story, quest and attitude. No huge adaptations, no great modifications, just build a bard and crank some personality in until it's coming out his ears! The Story: His life was once good. He was a successful bard, maybe running his own show house, or working at his favorite inn. Maybe he had a wife and kids. Maybe he had siblings and parents. Maybe he had a dog named Biscuit. However you want to do it, this guy was once the happiest man alive. Until this one son of a bitch arrived, set fire to the show house / inn, raped and murdered his wife, tortured his kids to death, drowned his siblings, hung his parents, and kicked Biscuit. And then, like most bad guys do, beat a very brave retreat. Maybe it was done out of spite, maybe it was a spur of the moment thing. It doesn't matter. What matters is, this bard's life was once perfect, now it's a world of shit, and someone has to pay for it. If you want to run a bit away from the whole "wife and kids died" thing, you can. Make it personal: the one son of a bitch made the bard's life into living Hell, that's where you want to get. How you get there is just gravy. The Quest: The one son of a bitch, or group of sons of bitches, however you wish to put it. This bard was down in the dumps after all that shit happened, but he is all better now. And he is set on getting revenge for what was done to his life in the worst possible way. This guy is a little crazy. He will go to every length, cross every taboo and slay away anyone he must to get to the one son of a bitch. Favored Instrument: Once again, we're tempted by the string instruments, which allow for the type of music most closely associated with this bard. Music Type: Angry music, fast music. This is a guy who once sang his woes, how his life was good and now it's not. That's over though: now, he only sings about revenge, death, destruction and anger. Very appellative to the teenage and revolted (two words which should be synonyms by the way). Roleplay Tips:He is completely obsessed. For a long time in the campaign, or even the whole duration of the campaign, he thinks of nothing else than the one son of a bitch. He will not take sidequests unless it may lead him to his enemy. He will refuse the whole main quest, unless it provides clues to the whereabouts of the one son of a bitch. He talks of nothing else, goes to bed set on doing the son of a bitch harm, and awakens with the same idea. With the continuity of the campaign, he may get new interests: he makes friends with the rest of the party, perhaps, gets a love interest maybe, thinks of rebuilding his life. This is still all wishful thinking and secondary, though. In his mind, he can only go on as he was, once the one son of a bitch is gone, and by his hand. Eventually it becomes not only a question of revenge, but a whole obstacle he must cross if he is to go on with his normal life.
***
#06 - The Gipsy What I like about the Gipsy is the possibility to, once again, join two classes. You have a guy who starts off as a bard and takes up rogue levels in the future. His prime occupation is as a street performer and a bard, but if the business if faltering, he may also choose to relieve some patrons of the tips in their pockets. Bard and rogue are two classes understood as very closely related (they were even approached in the same book: Song and Silence), and it's about time we make the best of the rogue's skills and the bard's casting.
The Story: A run-of-the-mill story. This guy may come from a long line of street performers, and his whole life he has earned a living by his talent. Of course, talent alone won't get you food, lodgings and some luxuries unless you're pretty damn good, and in some places street performers are arrested... so you have to turn to something else. For him, it was normal: his whole family and peers did it. He sought a solo career when his group disbanded, or he can be the last of his kin. It's a very simple bio which frees your character into a very broad quest possibility.
The Quest: Anything goes here. Maybe he picked the wrong pocket. Maybe someone liked to hear him and has a task for him to accomplish. Maybe he took an interest in this or that person or affair. Maybe he wants to know if someone from his group or family is still alive somewhere, and seeks distant relatives whenever he can.
Favored Instrument: Strings again, especially if by the denomination Gipsy you remembered La Bamba.
Music Type: Cheerful, carefree music. Something that anyone would enjoy hearing. Again, La Bamba comes to mind. Since he is a street performer, he plays music that anyone could enjoy, and anything that would make people feel a little happier, thus a little more inclined to part with their money. Tunes people can dance to are also good picks.Or, maybe he is the sort of person who does risqué stuff people actually have fun listening to...
Roleplay Tips: Let's get one thing straight here: this is a street performer by career. Money is very important to him. No matter how much he has, he wouldn't mind having a little more, the easier the better. He doesn't need to actively pick pockets, but if it means tomorrow's meal is guaranteed, well, let's do it. Still, he is an artist at heart, and may choose to try to earn tips before resorting to thievery. He is easygoing and enjoys laughter, this being what he hopes people will feel as well when he plays. Since he performs on the street, he may be a multitasking entertainer: he plays an instrument, sings, tells jokes, he is probably able of some acrobatic feats, and he is a very sly and cunning speaker. The sort that could sell ice to penguins if needed. In daily life as in battle, these are all skills he uses often and well.
***
#05 - Elvis One of the cool things about D&D is how easily you can change a core setting to suit your needs. We always assume D&D is set in a more or less medieval world, but if you change a couple of things and read the right books, you can make your setting go fast-forward into the Renaissance, for instance. It is based on this premise that Elvis shows up.
The Story: He was taught by someone very traditional as music goes, but as he grew up, he started trailing away from tradition and into new and uncharted territory of music. When he was old enough and knowledgeable enough to start composing, he found a completely new style, something nobody else had heard before. He met difficulties with his master, but the ones who heard him seemed to love the way he played. He eventually kicked the old method in the rear and set off to do his own thing, and bring this new musical style to people.
The Quest: Fame, recognition and fortune are his main goals. This guy invented something good and he wants to share it with everyone. He wants people to hear it, and others to play similarly. His greatest enemy is tradition here - in music, in thought, in everything. This is a revolutionary person with revolutionary ideas.
Favored Instrument: Strings, string, strings! ...actually, depending on what "new and exciting" musical style you want to give him, so will the instrument change. Strings still wins, since it's versatile. If you could pull a piano, it would also work... but we all know a bard with a piano is one of those very difficult and very troublesome things that DMs and players alike don't want to touch with a ten foot pole.
Music Type: It depends on your setting. If it's medieval and everyone is listening to traditional Celtic music, introduce something that is close but forward in time, like folk or new age music. Or you could just tell that to fuck itself and get a song style nobody would ever think of at the era the setting is happening on.
Roleplay Tips: He is very ahead of his time in thought, so he's very liberal. It is hard to find something he still considers taboo. He has a clear idea, in music as in society, of how things should be. And a very clear conscience that they're not like that. This doesn't necessarily mean he is a revolted person, but that he is trying to change the world in some way. In a setting where things like divorce are considered forbidden and unthinkable, he thinks if two people don't love each other, they shouldn't have to put up with each other "until Death do us part", for instance. This will bring him many enemies, especially in the Lawful alignment. His roleplay situations arise mainly from the clash between his way of thought and everyone else's.
***
#04 - Portuguese Fado Singer Fado is pretty much the Portuguese blues. And I'm well aware I have just ignored a series of fado styles which have nothing to do with being depressed and blue over the things you must do or go through because of destiny. Still, the most famous fado is the one that goes on about woes and sadness. It has a very particular style, and it is widely accepted that most people who sing or play it have some woes of their own, from where they derive the inspiration and the soul. If you want to play an angst-y character and, like me, you dislike emos, you've just found your guy. The Story: He has one of the saddest stories in the book, and sings it whenever possible. From day one, his life was shit: he is the youngest of several siblings in a poor family, his father died at sea, no matter how much he struggled he was never really able to make it. Lost loves, a life of trials and tribulations, general bad luck. He became a wanderer in a desperate attempt to flee death, poverty and a feeling of longing, which seem to follow him everywhere still. He started singing and playing to relieve his heart and soul, and eventually discovered it was actually a way to turn a GP or two.
The Quest: Whatever it is, it is something he did not bring upon himself. Something that came about due to the circumstances - destiny is ever present in this guy's life, and his quest must also be closely related to destiny. After all, not every single Chosen One out there has to be epic, heroic, brave and strong. Some of them can just mope their way through the quest, dooming the day they ever entered it and getting frustrated over the fact things didn't go as planned. Favored Instrument: There is only one instrument that goes with fado, and that's the Portuguese guitar.
Music Type: If you don't know at this point, we have a problem. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Roleplay Tips: This guy can be roleplayed in a variety of ways, depending on how annoying to all other party members you want him to be. After all, if this guy is mostly a depressed and sad person, he is bound to irritate the shit out of those which are not. A backup story not even the most joyful of gnomes could find something funny about is a good base. You don't need to make him into an emo: he doesn't need to wear black eyeliner, have suicidal tendencies and cry a lot. That's not what fado is. He is sad, sure, but he goes on, ever hopeful for the day when things will take a turn for the best. He doesn't need to constantly complain and brood, but he has an overall negative view on life. There is probably something for which he yearns, or someone - that is the essence of fado. He may have had it and miss it, or he may never have had it and want it badly, yet knowing it is most likely out of his reach since destiny wants him to take another road. He is not frustrated, he simply feels something is amiss in his life.
***
#03 - He Shall Sing on Your Grave Another class fusion, this time we're going to pick one of my favorite prestige classes out there: the assassin. Maybe the idea of someone who kills stealthily and someone who plays an instrument and sings don't go well together in your head. Yet keep in mind that music is mainly a way of expressing yourself. So is carving your initials on someone's face. In a way, it's just creative outlet, and may work out if you do it right. Most people get to the assassin class by means of the rogue, and I'm here to present an alternative. The Story: He always liked song, particularly unlikely songs about gruesome things, on the same line of work as he is. A good way to pull this is having him start as a bard, which would be his prime occupation. Maybe he was forced to learn an instrument due to parental or community pressure. Maybe he taught himself how to do it at an age when he still wasn't murdering people. The interesting part of his tale begins once he actually becomes an assassin, and starts expressing what he knows, sees and does through music. The occupation bard is his cover-up so that socially, he is not condemned or discovered. Sure, he sings about gruesome things, but it's all cool. Everyone's got their thing, right? Some may assume he is actually a genius for the way he describes things he (supposedly) never lived through. Plus, few things are probably as satisfying as writing a song about how someone lost their life to an assassin's hands... your own. The Quest: Feel free to assign to him any quest, or none at all. He's a bard by day and an assassin by night, one covers for the other, none the wiser. Maybe he is on the brink of being found out, maybe he was hired for a gig on either of his jobs, maybe he just happened to be playing at the inn where the party was staying and they found his song about blood and guts too realistic to be the product of just some demented head.
Favored Instrument: Since he is only a bard part-time, he can play something bards generally don't, like the aforementioned piano. For combat purposes, he is still an assassin and can effectively cast assassin spells. It is unlikely he would need the bard spells, but if he should, he also has means to take confrontations to a place where, he knows, the instrument of his preference exists. If you think it's complicated, fit him with a classical instrument: cello, for instance, or violin. Music Type:His music lives through the lyrics. I would advise something on this line of work, whatever the musical style is. Some of you are going to immediately associate heavy metal with this bard, but I'd advise you to check some spoken word or the really alternative stuff (like the one above). It can get way creepier.
Roleplay Tips: This guy is obviously proud and intelligent, and it tickles him that he can freely talk about what he does in his other job without anyone asking questions. He is, after all, boasting and getting paid for it. Still, openly admitting you are a murderer, even if masked into art, is a dangerous thing. This is an overly careful man with a gift to talk plenty yet say little. He's suspicious of everyone, and the more suspicious he gets, the more he wants to hand them clues about what he does. It's something that thrills him and the reason why he keeps at it. Maybe he is a real wacko and wants to be caught, and maybe he thinks he can outsmart guards, adventurers and anyone else who wants to follow the leads he leaves behind. Remember, this is happening at an age when if you don't find the bard and have him sing, you only get hearsay about his work.
***
#02 - Don Juan de Marco When you think of the bard, you think of him being more or less the way music artists are. And this include the fans. And what would any of us do with a faithful legion of fans of the opposite sex? ... What wouldn't we do...?
The Story: He entered the musical business perhaps out of vocation, or perhaps because he noticed it was a good way to pick up girls. He has real talent, and maybe studied under some of the best, but he has no elevated yearnings for artistic outlet or fame and fortune in mind. He only thinks about one thing, and that's tail. Probably this would also be the reason why he started adventuring: husbands get jealous, patrons on a village tire of their women all paying attention to the same guy, maybe he did something he shouldn't and it was time to split. Plus, how is he supposed to meet more women if he doesn't move around from time to time?
The Quest: Women. He is good at wooing them and enjoys doing it. It doesn't matter who it is, or if he really has romantic or sexual intents, he enjoys the power his music has over them, and will woo them even if he has no romantic or sexual intent, just for kicks. The more he can entice the better, and if a particularly stubborn one shows up, he just found himself something to work on, a goal to reach. Like most people of this sort, however, he tires easily. As soon as one is conquered, he already has his eye on the next one. Favored Instrument: Anything goes here, so as long as you can play some romantic tunes on it.
Music Type: There are several types of romantic or sexually themed bard. He can be romantic, he can be extremely direct (speaking of which, pardon the douchebag that shows up on that last vid). Or he can suit his music to specific targets: figure out what each lady likes, and deliver it.
Roleplay Tips: Rogue wiles are one of his tools, only he steals hearts and affections instead of coins and goods. This is not a guy who actively wants to break hearts, he just likes to flirt, and uses whatever tools he has at his disposition. It is possible most of his amorous interests are strongly, yet shortly, lived. He loves each and every woman he meets unconditionally and forever, until the next one comes along that is. In fact, he probably never thought his actions can have devastating effects in other people's lives. Even when someone points it out, he doesn't find it so serious: it's all good fun, after all.
***
#01 - Brother Cletus Brother Cletus is my favorite bard project, and one I actively want to make happen. It is simple, obvious and funny. I first got the idea from listening to this song, of course. Yet another try at multiclass, we're talking about someone who starts off as a cleric and later takes levels as a bard.
The Story: He was originally a cleric who got transferred from a small village (where people worshipped at the temple regularly) to a huge city (where people find religion a little boring). In trying to bring religion to the people in a less tedious way, because he truly has a vocation as a cleric and is quite devoted, he started to notice people likes music, especially high-paced music. He began adapting song into the worship method, and effectively brought some more people back to the temple of his faith. Once the practice was set in one temple, he moved on to others of the same area, and in time he had room to dedicate to something in a larger scale: travelling about teaching his deity isn't a bore, not as stuck up as people take it and converting the unbelievers.
The Quest: Converting and demistiftyng the image of his deity is his main quest. Even with a chaotic-aligned deity, people usually see the gods as someone who is too far from them to care, or for them to care. They fear the gods, and want to keep a distance from them so as not to be intimidated. The rituals, in fact, are intimidating: methodology, strict rules, formal clothing. Brother Cletus here sees his religion in a different way: it is for people, it doesn't need to be overly formal, it can be enjoyable and you don't need to fear it. This is the image of his deity he wants to pass on, and he does it through song. And since he is a cleric, he yearns to aid as many people as possible (if good-aligned), keep harmony (neutral-aligned) or "sell" the deity's favors (evil-aligned). Favored Instrument: You want him to have something he can easily sing with wherever he goes. We're gonna stumble on the guitar again, of course, but it can be anything where you can play a catchy tune. Music Type:Gospel music. Any song and lyric can be adapted into the same beat, so you can as easily have him sing about doing good for your neighbor or that the gods will grant you priviledge for smithing him. Roleplay Tips: First and foremost, he is a devoted cleric with modern views on his deity. His faith cannot be shattered, he is absolutely sure of what he's doing and he treats the deity as his best buddy. Then he loves music, of course, and uses it as means of worship. In battle, different songs can be adapted to different bardic music traits: just lurk a bit around YouTube and you'll find gospel songs for every occasion. Plus, if you've seen enough videos concerning gospel and its singers, you already pretty much know how to roleplay him. Oh, glory!
Some DMs are happy just playing the game. Some others, like myself, are sadistic and like to deliver mindfucks and keep players on the edge of their seats. There are ten basic moves that come in handy when you want this effect - and they're all very easy to deliver. Beware, though: use them wisely. Your players may come to recognize these signs and know what they mean. Also, ideally, every threat should be backed up with real danger, so when it's not, they'll be on their toes just the same. #10 - The Near-Hit When you begin Near-Hit agenda, you must keep in mind that it will affect your campaign in ways you may not want. What you will do, basically, is start taking down people around yet increasingly close to your players. It may be a series of coincidences, an all-out persecution, it depends on what's more convenient to you. Start with someone they do not know, and move on closer and closer until their next door neighbors, the party who sat next to them on the tavern last night, or the man they bumped into an hour ago. Make them feel like they are being gotten to, or that they're suffering from a series of near-hits. It may be campaign-related, it may be a serial killer on the loose, but keep things orbiting close enough that they feel they may be next.
The core of the Near-Hit is having your players feel they may be killed next. Even if it's something completely unrelated, if it's happening around them, or to people they have met before, it will work. #09 - The Casual Warning This is an easy to use move that will keep your players attentive for sessions after you've used it. In order to make it work all you need is a player loyal to the cause (meaning, someone who is really very hyped about the campaign) and fifteen minutes of casual chat. Like when you meet him on a bus, or for an event or night out, or even over the MSN. If you call them on purpose just to say this, it won't work.
First, make sure you speak to one player alone. It works best that way. Pick your most loyal, or the one you're sure will share the information with the rest of the party. Start chatting about life, hobbies, whatever it is you chat about. If the player doesn't bring the campaign up, do it, smoothly. Talk about last session's events, some difficult fight, an interesting dialog, a player's attitude you liked or disliked. Anything, so as long as it's discreet and your subject is the campaign.
Once you've set the stage and you're on the subject, it's time to deliver the screwing. From whatever issue you started with, swap to your warning. For instance, if you started with a combat, make if a combat warning: "You know, you got out of that one easily. If you try the same stunt with the guy I was rolling yesterday, you're gonna be all dead before the fourth round." An interesting dialog would go something like this: "It'll be interesting, seeing if you use the same skills in the near future - they can save your life, depending on the situation." Be vague enough, but specify it's going to be soon. You'll know the move hit if the player presses you for details or keeps on the subject. You may want to disclose some more details or not. A strange detail is always worth your time: "Look out for red glyphs and you'll see what I mean". Then have several people use red runes on their clothing and body and several places have red decorations, and several fiends have red seals on their body. Or a red glyph not showing up at all for a good, long while. Depending on how you plan to deliver the pain, plan to deliver the mindfuck. As long as you're casual and discreet about it, it will be delivered.
#08 - The Late but Present As a DM, you have a duty to provide your characters with truthful information in-game. You can't just ask for a Fortitude roll and fail to tell your player his character is poisoned, simply letting him die. It says nowhere, however, that you must inform them immediately.
Let me give you a "for instance": ask a Fortitude roll to resist poison, and don't tell them how it came out. They will know the same way anyone else would: when the effects start manifesting. See, movies lie: poison doesn't usually act immediately. Check you poison tables: most poisons in D&D take a while to act, or have an immediate effect and a later effect. Use this to your advantage: if the character doesn't know he's poisoned, there's no reason why the player should. Start delivering symptoms, they'll check it out. You are required to deliver truthful information. You aren't required to deliver it immediately. For all players care, it can be an NPC who notices the illness just in time... in time for you to send the rest of the party on a quest for antidote, for instance. This is why it's useful not to plan your campaign all at once: sometimes, there is room for an extra sidequest.
Similar ways to deliver the Late but Present include some kinds of trap. You can fill a room with gas easily, players will only feel the smell by the time it's strong enough to ask for Fortitude rolls. If a corridor heats up gradually, players won't feel it immediately, especially if some of them are clad in specific ways. You can start by saying that the temperature is warmer, then say it's getting even warmer, and keep on with it until the time comes for you to say that it's too hot to bear and they're getting damage from it. Simple, effective and legal.
#07 - The Intermission This is one of the moves to be used in session. Several hours of gaming may leave your players and yourself exhausted. You should do a small break every once in a while. How you do these breaks - or intermissions - can contribute to how the players feel once they sit down again to game. First of all, take the chance to make a cliffhanger. Ask for rolls, then announce a break. Have a door open, and call an intermission. A silhouette appears, and it's time for everyone to hit the can. Have something that will make players want to keep on playing once the intermission is over.
But the true skill is in how you call the intermission. It's nothing big, just a small threat carefully hidden in the players' need to visit the bathroom or fetch more snacks. So, do your cliffhanger, and call an intermission in such a way that implies the next part will be filled with hurt, despair and fright. I'll give you an example. Cliffhanger, and "Well, guys, let's do a little recess because I don't want anyone having to get up for bathroom breaks on the next part". Or, "Well the next part will be a little big complicated, so if you have something to do now, we'll do a little break". Of course, you can always be direct: "So next up we have something ugly coming towards you in full speed, so take the time to freshen up on your drinks."
The Intermission is an art. There are many ways of doing it, and if you master it, it can be used virtually anytime. You can be vague, but also awfully precise: if next up you're going to send them a beholder, say something like "Something will be floating your way soon, so keep an eye out while we do a recess". Is there an arrow-shooting trap up next? "Let's dodge and run the next part for the time being and find something to eat". Give little hints about what's coming up. Your players will be guessing and you'll have fun! And, once again: it can be used at virtually anytime.
#06 - The Theme Song The Theme Song only works if you have some extra CDs lying around or an MP3 player and you're playing at the house of someone who owns a radio or sound system. It takes some work, but it's very worth it. As well you know, a DM needs to present his players with a visual aid from time to time. Some monsters are just too hard to describe, or some maps are too confusing to make out from description, and some symbols only have their complete impact if showed. But most DMs don't value the audio aid as they should. There is a reason why theme songs exist... if not, try to watch The Lord of the Rings on mute and then tell me if it's half as spectacular.
First, plan your playlist to go with your campaign. Find a battle theme, villain themes, location themes... and include a "Shit Hit The Fan" theme. It should be the last track on your playlist. Or, if you want something a little more auspicious, track number 13. During your sessions, you won't be changing songs, one of your players will. From then on, whenever something really bad is about to happen, tell your DJ to play the "Shit Hit the Fan" theme. It will take some time, but through repetition and Pavlovian stimulus, your party will learn to associate problems with that theme. You have just built your Theme Song.
From here on, you must be careful, so the Theme Song isn't lost. Make sure to play the Theme Song whenever things are about to get dirty, and you can also play it when they're not. Just remember: the Theme Song, once set, is like a small bottle of delicious liquor. You should use it in moderation to make sure it lasts for a long, long time.
#05 - The Smile That Kills The Smile That Kills results well in small parties as well as in large, and I find it works even better if you smile slightly. Not a toothy, cheerful smile. A small, half smile. Just something that will lift the corners of your mouth, slightly close your eyes and leave no doubts in the minds of others that something horrifying has just crossed your mind. If needed, train your smile on the mirror, until you achieve the perfect mindfucking expression. It should be part Batman villain and part mischievous little kid.
At the beginning of any given game session, pick one of your players. It doesn't matter who, it works with pretty much everyone. Stare at him for a brief moment, and give him your Smile That Kills. I swear to crow you'll have him sweating. Should he ask what's up, say it's nothing and nonchalantly go over some notes or roll some dice at random. For the remainder of the session, he will wait for something hideous to happen. Be wary of this, however: don't overdo it. This is a move to be used every once in a while. If done constantly, it will lose its value and end up being considered "just the DM trying to fuck with us".
#04 - The Death Note This should be done at the beginning of a session, and believe me, it's a mindfuck in itself. I know, because it was taught to me by the first guy ever to DM a game in my presence. I would now like to share this wisdom with you. And no, we aren't going to give strokes to criminals worldwide while being featured in hideous gay fanfics. Stay with me, I'll teach you something or another.
Like with every other tactic, there may or may not be a real threat behind the trick. However, it is my solemn advice you won't pull the trick without real threats too often, so players will always be kept in doubt. Pick a sheet from your notes (which may or may not contain something cruel and unusual) and place it next to you, written side down. With a smile and a casual demeanor, tell your players (if they don't ask you) that they will loathe the day you need to turn that sheet written side up.
From here on, it's very simple. Have the separate page marked, and always place it written side down next to you. It will haunt them in their dreams. A good way to adapt this move to your needs is using the (true) Death Note to write the stats for your final fiend. On the end of your campaign, when the time comes to fight it, very slowly pick the note and turn it around. If you had a score to go with it, it would be perfect.
Of course, you can also do a faker. Keep the sheet turned down for several sessions. At the end of one of them, put it back and say they dodged a bullet by an inch. The end of a dungeon is a good time to do this. If they ask you to check it out, because there's no more danger, refuse. Say you may still need it for another dungeon. That will keep them thinking. And if anyone calls your bluff... by all means, do plan something terrifying for your next session. #03 - The Pile of Notes Method As a DM, you certainly need to keep some notes. Some of you might work them out in a laptop, in which case this won't work. In order to pull the Pile of Notes Method, you need to have paper notes.
Pick a pile of notes to leave in a secluded place. They can be D&D notes or any notes - so as long players cannot read them. If it's a location away from your own home, your bag will have to do for revelation. If you're in your own house, you can put up a show. It doesn't have the same impact to pull a pile of notes from inside your bag as pulling them out of a chest under your bed. Anyway, the important thing here is presentation. Have your pile of notes tied with a red band, or inside a black folder. From here on, you're ready: get your session going, normally, and wait until the players do something that they think will upset you. Make a few minutes worth of silence, pull your pile of notes (slowly enough so they can see it's notes), take them out of the folder or untie the band, and put your fake notes somewhere in between the others.
You may or may not want to do a follow-up from the Pile of Notes move. You may want to shift your notes from time to time, check things from the fake pile, smirk a little - but it's the pulling of your notes from their concealment place that matters. This may keep your players from the smartass remarks and paying attention to you for the rest of your session. And, of course, you can always prepare something truly terrifying from time to time to back up your threat.
#02 - The Mysterious Roll One of the advantages of being a DM is the DM screen. Nobody can see your rolls. The relationship between a DM and his players must be absolute trust and honesty for a group to use a DM screen in gaming: your players must trust that when you roll 10d6 and get all numbers below 5, you tell them so. In the same way, you must respect such a trust so that when you roll 10d6 and get all numbers below 5, you tell them so. Of course, you can take a wonderfull and fully trustworthy advantage of nobody being able to tell what you're rolling. Could be a d6 for the next damage... could be a d20 for crow only knows what.
The Mysterious Roll has two variants. Their Mysterious Roll, and Your Mysterious Roll. Their Mysterious Roll is rather deceptive, and may bring about the rage on your players: simply ask them to roll a d20, and don't tell them what it's for. Some players might find this a violation of the aforementioned trust: it may be a roll for something, it may be a roll just to check how their luck is today. So I'd rather have Your Mysterious Roll - protected by the DM screen and without players knowing what you're up to, roll some dice at random. If they ask what you're rolling, tell them something cruel. "I'm rolling for something cute", or "I'm rolling for something nice, warm and squishy". Again: you may have something planned... now, or two sessions from now. Or, you may be rolling dice at random just to fuck with them. After all, you all trust each other and a DM should not violate his player's trust... that doesn't mean he can't fuck with them a little.
#01 - The Silent but Deadly This is very simple and can become a gaming method of its own. And no, I don't mean you should fart during a D&D session. Visual and audio aid is nice, but if your party is caught somewhere in the Bog of Eternal Stench, they probably don't want to know how it smells.
If you've been playing with the same people for a while, they will seek signals for when the shit hits the fan on you. The twinkling of the eye of someone who is about to unleash pain and distress on his players. The grin of one who has something on the bottom of the bag and needs but an excuse to bring it out. If you've ever played poker, you know how this sort of scanning works. And you also know how to beat it: poker face. You don't even need to bluff. In fact, if the party is scanning you through characters, plain scrutiny, or via direct questions, they may see through your overcompensating buff. Instead, remain indifferent: say nothing, answer to nothing, keep a straight face from one end of the campaign to the other. Don't let them see they surprised you, don't let them see you're about to fuck them up. Keep from threatening, passing comments (and wind) or chuckling. They'll never know what hit them.
Of course, this invalidates every other taunt and scheme to screw with your player's heads. This is something to be done over time, so they get used to seeing your straight face and fear something horrible is being concocted behind your ever-watching eyes. It is a game method - a delicious game method, but a game method nonetheless - you may or may not choose to apply. Me, I like a little variety: plant a doubt here, raise a fear there. But if you want to make this your way, and think you can do it right... let the game begin.
So I was checking out a few trailers for Braid (you know - I sometimes do check things I know I'll never have, just to keep in touch with new games coming out. When someone tells me Old Franchise 5 and Final Sci-Fi [Insert Roman Numeral Here] are alike, I wanna know what I'm being told) and when reading a description of the game features, I came across this wonderful expression which I would like to approach for a while.
The expression is "forgiving gameplay".
This, my good people, is a direct copy and paste from Greenhouse's website. "(...) The game doesn’t force you to solve puzzles in order to proceed. If you can’t figure something out, just play onward and return to that puzzle later. (...)" Well then... can you tell me what the point is? As I recall, when you're playing a game - specifically, a puzzle game - you overcome certain obstacles to reach a goal. If you can just ignore a difficult part, play onward and then go back whenever you "feel like it", what's the point of having an obstacle?
It's hard to fit in my brain that I can pick a game already programmed in case I'm a little slow. I understand where they were going with Braid. It's a game made as a critique to the way most games do things, it's social and political metaphor... the problem is, it comes in a time and context in which much of that is lost. This is an era where 2 billion bozos can log onto the same virtual community, find naked mods to their characters and be general douchebags in complete anonymity. This is an era in which whatever puzzles we are faced with during gaming are so one-sided and simple anyone can figure them out. This is not an era when people like to think when playing games, and they seek the simple satisfaction of being able to shoot someone or something without consequences. I see where the creator, Jonathan Blow, was going with this. And I don't criticize Braid in ways other than this one: the story is open to interpretation, the game is aesthetically wonderful and it's a side-scroller like we hadn't seen in years. By the very philosophy behind the game, having anything other than forgiving gameplay would be paradoxical and useless...
Still, I read about the concept in Wikipedia, and the idea still wouldn't fit my brain: you can finish this game without solving most puzzles, so as long as you destroy bosses. In several conferences and intervews, Blow urged gamers not to consult walkthroughs and instead try solving the puzzles themselves. I'm all pro this as well, Blow, in fact unless we are playing a graphical adventure in which it is virtually impossible to make it without a guide (Persona 3, looking right at you), we usually feel much more rewarded for surpassing a difficult part of the game on our own. It makes us feel good, in harder puzzles it makes us feel like flippin' geniuses. And I'll quote Blow himself on this: "(...) unearned rewards are false and meaningless (...)". I absolutely agree - but the fact is that we're in a time when playthroughs are available on YouTube half an hour after a game's release, and further help can be found online. That was before, my good man. When I began gaming, we didn't have guides or Internet... we still finished games. You have made a pearl of a game perhaps, but you are giving it unto people who go by the rules of trying three times and then checking a guide. If there wasn't a token for finishing each puzzle, I can bet you anything most people wouldn't try to finish puzzles at all, and just side-scroll their way to the ending!
Then again, maybe I am wrong. Maybe people will take the challenge, and try to get all tokens, and do something with their brain for a change.
...or maybe not. This is an instant gratification society. This is a place where people will praise you for everything you do - every little thing! You have to either work really bloody hard, or not at all, for your accomplishments, and most people don't have to work hard. Everyone is so afraid of traumatizing their children they keep telling them they're special. So when running freely through the meadow of understanding, it comes as quite a shock to slam face-first into brick wall of reality. If people get praised for very little, they will never try to achieve the very hard. I see this everyday. So yes, this is a good concept and appropriate to the game - but I fear what this innovative feature will do to gameplay as we know it. We'll go from very easy goals to no mandatory goals at all. And if so, what's the point of playing a game?
And then again, maybe I'm blowing this completely out of proportion. I happen to think people could use a little more challenge, a little more of something that would make them think, a little working hard for rewards, a real chance to miss and fail, something that would make those two remaining braincells hump each other and produce thought... or a real chance to get stuck in a game unless they figure it out. It's just a game, after all.
My very first gaming console was Master System II. Check out that huge D-Pad, and the pause button on the console itself. Classy. I can still remember it. When it first came to my home, it only had two games: Alex Kidd and Sonic the Hedgehog, both spawns of SEGA. I was six years old and games were pretty new: this was 1991, the console had been out for a year worldwide but was new to Europe, along with the NES. The console became the most cherished appliance we had at home. I played, my Mum played, even my Dad managed to do a few levels from time to time.
Then we got a few more games for it (I recall there was a Michael Jackson game, and one called Psycho Fox which we all thought was awesome), and eventually got a hold of a Genesis. That was one of the golden ages of gaming in this household. There were games everyone could play: the folks especially liked Mega Bomberman and most platformers. We owned a Saturn for a while, although we didn't have many games for it, and eventually went into the PSX, Gamecube and Playstation 2 realms. The Playstation 2 is, after the Genesis, the console with a greater lifespan in the house. Before we sold a good deal of our games, we owned over sixty different titles, half were my brother's, half were mine, and a few were also picked up by my Mum. She found she was particularly fond of Final Fantasy titles and general RPG then, with the tenth game of the franchise coming out. It was also on PSX and Playstation 2 my love for horror and survival games bloomed, as well as stealth. Kid Bro became the great fighting game moolah mogul he is today on Playstation 2, mainly.
On portable consoles, we owned a Game Gear for a while, but it was bullshit. The best thing I ever bough on handheld consoles was my Gameboy Color: eight years afterwards, it's still up and running. I doubt any other handheld will have my appreciation as much as it. I also did quite a bit of playing elder games from SNES on emulators on my PC later on. Although I never owned them, I did play several games on NES, Dreamcast and even a Wii and Playstation 3, recently.
Why am I typing all this for you? Quite simple. To prove I've seen a good deal of the gaming evolution from the old days until now. And let me tell you something: there are no such things as master gamers nowadays. That is a title belonging to the past. Here's why.
Back in the day we didn't have as much luxury in gaming as we have nowadays. Most games didn't have a save system. You had a number of lives, maybe a number of continues, and if the lights went out for some reason, your game was lost and you'd be starting from the beginning. In one of my old neighborhoods we sometimes had blackouts, and you don't know how frustrating it is to be at the level before the last in a game and have to start at the beginning because lights went out. Nowadays, if you wanna take a little break, you save and turn off the console - back then, that was murder. I never did it myself because my parents would've killed me, but I had friends who started to play in the early morning and left the game on while they were in class, to continue when they came back home. You literally had to sit in front of the TV for hours unend to finish a game. And if you lost all your lives and/or continues, you'd go back to the beginning of the game. Not to your last save.
And even things like Pause buttons were not as common as you think. It's a true relief to be able to pause for a bathroom break once in a while these days. The Master System II had a Pause button on the console itself. The problem is, it didn't work with all games. For example, you could pause Alex Kidd, but good luck getting a break in Psycho Fox. The NES didn't have a Pause button. In fact, before the Genesis and SNES age, it was rare to get a gaming console with a Pause button. I look at controllers for Gamecube and Xbox, and I'm amazed: how did we get to this? I'm from a time when it was as simple as D-Pad, A button and B button. You had three buttons, canon: figure it out. Characters in games never had more than a couple moves: walk, run, jump, crouch. Whatever else you needed to do, you'd have to combine buttons to. Does anyone still know what up-up-down-down-left-right-left-righ-B-A is? Because if there's a code to remember, this is it.
But that's not all. Games were also harder. I know guys who can dominate everyone in Lineage, Halo, World of Warcraft, the works... and they can't get through the first level of Super Mario Bros. without taking damage somehow. I recently played a few levels of Sonic the Hedgehog, and it surprised me how much I sucked. See nowadays you have all sorts of games, but back then, it was platformers, RPGs, fighting, shooter, sports and puzzles. I mostly recall platformers, perhaps because that's what we played more at my place. You got an action or adventure game, chances were that they were platformers, and something that doesn't exist anymore called sidescroller. Yeah, start at the left, and the end of the level is at the right. Levels are apparently also gone: now you have chapters, arcs, even hours and nights, but "levels" seems to be gone.
It took skill back then. You had to memorize sets of buttons, or even worse: go real old school and mash them at random. It was simpler, yes, but harder. Nowadays, your job is to try to level up characters and weapons, but back then, unless you were playing for instance Mega Man, the guy you began with was the one you had to take with you til the end. Power-ups, yes, but leveling-up like we do today, we never had to do. Crow, someone who could make it halfway through Contra was a hero. I truly think games were harder, maybe because they were simpler. There are no more master gamers, nobody dedicated enough to a game to play it without fucking up or goofing off at some point, someone who will spend hours just practicing and having fun. And games are easier these days, so it doesn't take the same level of mastery. Hell I recall owning Genesis games I was never able to complete halfway try as I might (Contra, I'm looking at you again), and I hardly owned a PS2 game I didn't finish or near-finish. The title "master gamer" is lost with time, folks.
Not that I'm complaining about the newer generation of games. In fact, most of my favorite games came out in the past ten years. I'm just saying that when you hear that douchebag speak of how he owned ass at Unreal Tournament, maybe you should give him some Contra to play.
I just finished Castlevania: Lament of Innocence today... and tried Joachim, I hate that albino bastard. I must say, however, the bosses are extremely easy safe for the Forgotten One and the last motherfucker. Actually, the last motherfucker was tougher still than the Forgotten One... and speaking of which, take a good gander at this beast.
Not the toughest boss I've faced in this game... but the best fight I've had visually, by far.
#10. What Happens In-Game Stays In-Game In a game, things don't always go the way players had intended. There are feats which are impossible, and events they cannot stop, because it's out of their reach. If the whole party but one guy is KO'd and he gets killed, you can't do anything about it. You sent them a fiend which isn't overpowered for their rank, and if one there is in the campaign, you have likely made known through NPCs or other forms of warning that this is too much for their current capacities. Still: the character died, and the player becomes upset because, of course, he liked his character and now he has to roll a new one. Sometimes, this is it: the new character enters the game and everything's fine. Sometimes, the player somehow begins believing you killed his character out of spite. The issue extrapolates the game and it's you the player's mad at.
Now hold on there. This is a friendly game. This is not the Europe Cup of Soccer finals, your players aren't hooligans and you're not the referee. There is no reason why the player has to stay mad at you because he is mad at how the events turned out. You don't have to excuse yourself and he doesn't have to be a douchebag over it. Character death happens. More so if you've warned them it might, and they went in anyway. You don't have to pick a fight over it, and neither does he.
Another version of this mistake is when you take a day to pick on the character of someone you're not in good relations with. Suppose someone you don't like is invited to play, and you accept to DM for him. But in game, this guy is the most likely to step on traps, all foes gang up on him and the NPCs actively dislike him. The minute you agreed to DM for this person, you agreed to provide him with fair chances of success, just like you do with any other player. If you don't like him and don't want to include him in the game, say it out of game. Always make a distinction between you (person) and you (DM), and others (players) and their characters. Keep things from the game in the game, and things outside the game where they belong: outside the game. And believe me, if you can DM for someone you actively dislike properly, you're well on your way to be one of the finest.
#9. When Players Take Over If you're a DM and you're beginning to assume your role, this is likely to happen. Your players have the freedom to do whatever they want... and sometimes, that sentence means exactly that. Especially if you're a first-timer and your players have more experience than you.
Never forget you are the DM. You are the one who defines what can and cannot happen. Within the game rules and logic boundaries (sometimes, not even that), you control everything but the characters' will. The characters may try with all their might to make something happen, if you've deemed it impossible, it's just not going to happen, and if it does, consequences will arise from it. Just because a player says "I head for the nearest river", you don't need to have a river appear in the vicinity if one wasn't planned already. Just because they say want to be in good relations with a given NPC, it doesn't mean the NPC has to be friendly and aid them from the start. That's what skills like Diplomacy and spells like Charm were created for. This is a world you're building, and unless it's an utopia, people will dislike your characters, be distrustful or even refuse to have anything to do with them. In the same manner, if the nearest river is fourteen miles away from their current location, all you have to do is say "within the first fifteen minutes of your search, you can't find a course of water".
You may want to cater to something you know ahead your players would like. You may plan a possible love interest for a given character because you know ahead its player would like one to exist. Or not. It's your call. But if the character has an interest on a given NPC and the NPC doesn't feel the same, you don't have to change the NPC to cater to the character. Impose boundaries, make impossibilities, don't let your players take over on what you have planned. That's what makes your game realistic: keeping a healthy balance between possibility and impossibility.
#8. Magic Can Solve Everything You're not absolutely wrong in thinking magic can solve everything. Browse through the spell lists of a few classes, and even you'll start believing it. The problem is when the players begin to solve otherwise difficult tasks with magic, because it's available to them.
Magic is great. But it doesn't come easy. 20th-level casters are rare, and those who would be willing to aid your party for no reason other than "we need" or "it's the right thing to do" are even more rare. Masterwork magical items are hard to come by, even if there are specific merchants and stores where they can be purchased. And needless to say, a Ressurection scroll doesn't show up everyday and on sale, and a caster who can use it doesn't either. Just think about this: if gold alone could buy you both caster and spell, why don't the richest commoners make free use of magic? Commoners aren't all peasants: if the commoners can't buy themselves a few magical effects, then perhaps magic isn't as available as you'd think it is.
I once played a few sessions with a group where magic could do anything, to a point where their caster would freely polymorph himself a new face every hour or so. Because he had an item which enabled him to do it. On another occasion I DM'd a game in which a character, a caster, would overcome even the hardest tasks with a few magical effects, unless there was a No Magic Zone made permanent nearby. Just think about it: whoever made this dungeon, whoever made this trap, didn't they think a caster might be able to overcome it easily? Wouldn't they take measures against it? Spells sometimes can be used in innovative ways too, but sometimes they can't: I can accept the spell Shatter will work on ice, seeing as technically, it is a crystalline surface. I won't accept Shatter to work on common ground. If someone enters a magic item store and asks for a scroll of Remove Curse, it's perfectly doable for a price. If they ask for a scroll of Greater Teleport, the clerk is likely to laugh.
#7. Last Minute Change Suppose you spent a whole afternoon planning an encounter between a given fiend and your party. Suppose you're feeling confident this will be one of the toughest bastards they ever encounter during the campaign, and are ready to reward them with the corresponding XP. All cool. But when you get down to it, one of the players found a loophole in your strategy, and your big boss becomes a walk in the park for them. Or a series of unbelievable numbers are rolled in a row. You're pissed. You spent a whole afternoon rolling up this guy, after all.
So what now? Of course: you do some last-minute rewriting which is not even on paper, but just came out of your head, and it turns out the party wasn't really fighting your fiend, but an illusion. The real one just cast an image of himself (a spell not mentioned on paper) to see how the party would attempt to beat him, and now knows better how to attack them. Players become frustrated, characters are infuriated, and you're ready to take a second shot at them with this fiend you rolled for five or six hours.
Seriously. Don't do it. One thing is realizing what you did on paper will not work, and take a while to do some re-writing. One thing is having your players take an action you did not predict, and needing to play by ear a little. A very different thing is being a sore loser. A better approach would probably be let them have the victory, learn from the loophole you didn't see, and prepare something bigger for the next session. Character victories always teach you how ranked-up and creative they are. From each battle, you learn a little more about what they can and can't do. Thus, it becomes easier for you to provide greater challenge as battles go. Always keep in mind your function is to keep the game going. The only way in which you're a loser, is if you lose the ability to do so. You're not here to kill them: you're here to provide challenge they can overcome, but may or may not depending on rolls and actions.
#6. Hint Hint, Nudge Nudge Even the older DMs, people who have been directing games for years, can do this. Sometimes, the players and characters are at loss. Either there is a situation they don't know how to deal with, or a point in the campaign where the next step is not so clear. It is usually at this point they turn to the NPCs for advice: after all, the NPCs are the quickest link to the DM, and if the DM knows what they should do next, the NPCs may give out some sort of clue. This is what's expected, and usually what you deliver. Sometimes, players don't even need to ask, and there's already an NPC saying "I think you should do this and this next." You hint the players, in-game, about the next step. And, of course, this hint is always right and completely trustworthy.
This can turn into a habit, both yours and the players'. Eventually, they'll stop wondering if things can be done differently: they'll turn to the NPCs for advice and do exactly what the NPCs suggest must be done. And you'll never trick them by making the NPCs deliver bad advice, or advice which proves to be less right than they'd expect. This causes players to stop taking initiatives, and instead do exactly what you tell them should be done.
Me, I'm a sadistic DM. Really, I am: I used to belong in the Sindicate and all. I like to keep my players thinking. Some of the advice my NPCs deliver is right on the money. Some is just what it is: a commoner's two cents or the opinion of someone who isn't living through situations firsthand.
#5. Stop Acting Stupid and Go Back to Camp! Players have all manners of quirk, because people are different, they have different tastes and expect different things from you. Their characters more so. And you need to keep present that no matter how much you plan ahead, your players are likely to do something different than you expect. And believe me, sometimes a bad call from a player can lag out or even ruin an otherwise perfectly decent campaign. One such, is when one of the characters, for some reason you cannot immediately perceive, decides to up and leave.
D&D is a group game, and most agree it goes best when the whole group works together. But "lone wolves" are very popular media characters, likely to be brought to game at a point or another. Or there may be a disagreement, in or out of game, which leads to this one member splitting up and going away. This is a pain in the neck: how are you supposed to provide a campaign for someone who won't be in the group? Your first instinct is to halt the game and tell the correspondent player he's being obnoxious and the game can't progress like this... but there's a better way. It's easier than you think, brother. I made this mistake, and now that I have a lot of campaigns under my belt, I know how I should've dealt with it.
First of all, if the issue happened out of game, see entry number 10. Stop the game and solve it, resume the game once it's solved. If it's in-game, solve it in-game. If the rest of the party doesn't care if he stays or goes, you're on your own. This guy wants to go away mid-campaign, he's a vulnerable target: keep the campaign rolling for him. See how far do they take the wanting to go away. After all, things will get stale for them very soon. And just because they walked away from the party, they didn't walk away from the campaign: they're likely to have encounters with foes related to the campaign just the same. If he ultimately refuses to join, make it simple: end the campaign for him with "and he went back to his hometown and was never heard of again". Then ask if he would be coming back, or if the player wishes to roll another character. If someone wants to play there are basic rules of sociability he must respect. When everything else fails, give him what he wants: going away.
#4. I'm Ready for My Close-up If you're playing with more than two players, this is likely to happen at some point, especially if someone is playing with a new character and others with old ones, or if someone just joined your gaming group. Most player characters have a personal quest of sorts, very rarely you get characters who come from perfectly balanced families, never had unsolved problems in the past or are looking to reach some sort of goal. If you take in account a character's personal quest, he's likely to see a little more of your attention from time to time. This mistake is about giving a character and his quest more attention than you spare for the rest of your players.
The spotlight of the campaign will stop at a given character sometimes, it's just how it goes. And it's not always your fault: a character who most often takes initiatives, takes all the sidequests, provides good roleplay and who is more social will get the spot more often than one who is quiet and isn't big on taking initiative. Keeping the focus balanced between characters is something difficult to master. If you have a person who's been playing alongside you for years and four you never met before, it'll be hard for you to keep the same focus. Likewise, if you have an experienced and an unexperienced player, focus will fall on the experienced one. Try to keep either a balanced spotlight, or a communal one: make all quests solvable by one answer or goal they can achieve in a group. If you must give preference to a character at a time, make it so that all others have a chance to shine as well. That way everyone will feel satisfied they have leading part in the group and you'll have more opportunities to know the characters in-depth and better foretell their reactions further ahead in the campaign.
#3. Delicious Copy-Paste NPC Some players notice this immediately. Anyone who is not the character has to be played by you: hence why these people are called Non-Player Character, or NPC. From the farmer the party asked directions from once, to the innkeeper they're on first-name basis with, from their antagonists to their allies, this including friends, neighbors, passers-by and love interests, you play all these people. It's a shitload of work, especially if the most of them can be recruited into the party. But then again, nobody said DMing was easy. You will sometimes make NPCs very much like each other, and most of them are very much like you: they like the same things, use similar lingo and act like each other. This makes players feel like no matter who they're talking to, it's the same person: you.
It takes less effort than you think to roleplay several different characters at a time. It's not in the major things you'll fail, but the small ones. Those little distinguishing feats that everyone has. For instance, give one NPC a fear of spiders, another one has a tendency to chew his fingernails, a third always talks too loudly and a fourth may be homossexual -whatever makes him different from the others is great, and tells more about their personality than you think. It's not uncommon for nervous people to chew on their fingernails, just like it's not uncommon for a very outgoing person to talk loudly. Just the same, someone brought up on a middle-class environment is less likely to curse than someone brought up in Hell's Kitchen. They are likely to use different expressions, have different world views.
Most young DMs are afraid to set up too many things on one NPC unless he's going to be a member of the party, for fearing they're creating a regular NPC circus freak. Well, just go out and take a stroll: the real world is a circus. So don't be afraid to innovate and give NPCs unique traits, likes and dislikes.
Another issue: if an NPC is eight years old... he or she is eight years old. Keep in mind it doesn't have the same understanding and language than a young adult or a teenager.
#2. Deus ex Machina Sometimes it makes sense that your players will be saved from certain death by a cunt hair. An amazing roll can do this. Pre-planned, last-minute aid can do this. You can't do this. Your function is to keep the game going, but if death should befall your characters, they can't be saved from it by uncanny and unexplained godly intervention or sheer luck.
Between you and me, you don't really wish characters to die. After all, you have the front seat to this show, you wanna keep it going and you're rooting for them too. But be serious: if you're gonna save them anyway, what's the point of putting them in mortal peril? Having your characters saved from death too many times or ressurrected often takes the fun out of the game: they're not fearing for their lives anymore, they'll become reckless easy, victories become meaningless and so do losses, because these guys are never going to retreat, even if they're faced with something too big for them. They'll just continue to try, and as long as one of them remains alive, they know they can be ressurected no problem.
While you don't need to actively attempt to kill your characters horribly, you don't need to try to save their butts either. They're grown-up, mostly, they should be able to take care of themselves without DM intervention.
#1. My name is Merlin This was mentioned as advice for people just starting to play the game in Hero Builder's Guide. Do not name a character after popular, already-existing characters. No Merlins, no Bilbos, no Raistlins, no Drizzts. Likewise, don't give them traits your players are likely to identify immediately. If you have a magician with hourglass-shaped eyes and your players are all familiar with Raistlin Majere, they'll assume it's the same person with the same personality and a different name. They'll treat your NPC just like it was the canon character if it has the same name or characteristics.
You also want to avoid special cameos. Cheers this ain't. You may be playing in a setting where characters like Merlin, Morgaine and King Arthur exist. That doesn't mean your characters need to interact with them or even meet them, like the actors of a given sitcom would interact with and meet a famous baseball player doing himself on the show. This is a world ruled by you, don't be lazy, create your own NPCs. Mentioning them is cool, and your players may even realize they're dealing with similar people to those from legends, shows, fantasy books and cartoons, but from the minute you let them think it's a copy-paste of the same character, they can predict actions and thoughts, or even the demise, of characters they've just met. It takes away the surprise element. It's a bad idea overall.
Along with great gameplay and plotline, God Hand was also bestowed one of the most adequante soundtracks it could have hoped for. I like it a lot, enough to have stolen the whole thing from the Internet: this is one of the best tracks. See you all in 2009!
I'm probably the only human being on the face of this blue orb of debris that is bored enough to find hearing the neighbors curse because the elevators are broken and everyone has to climb their way up the building extremely entertaining. It's quiet in the house, since my Mum's at work and the kid went to school. So I've spent most of my morning hearing grumbles, curses and complaints to nobody in particular through these very thin walls. I knew I wanted a first or second floor apartment for a reason. Imagine the poor guy who lives on the eleventh floor...
Tuesday Nov 25
Thermometers dropped everywhere, all of a sudden. Yay Winter. I pride myself of having some resistance to the cold, and up until now I've been wearing short sleeves about the house. When I need to put on a sweater, my Mum is halfway frozen already, to give you an example. Today I put on an effin sweater and walked with a blanket over my shoulders half the time. I'm very sure I could breed penguins in my kitchen.
Wednesday Nov 26
Three things worry me today, in this order, from most worrisome to less:
First off, the Internet provider hasn't sent me a bill yet. It's been nearly three months. I can live with the 'net dropping from time to time, after all, this is a wireless modem, and I learned all about how shitty wireless is since I had wireless controls for the Genesis, this isn't anything new. I get pissed if I have no means of contacting 90% of my friends. Still, no bill on the horizon... it worries me not only because of this, but also that if they make trimester bills, I'm gonna have a stroke once it finally gets here. Out of sight out of mind my ass.
Then there's the fact we at this house are hardly equipped for Winter this year. Two of my blankets mysteriously vanished, can't find half my Winter clothing and the other half is getting too big for me, we don't have heaters and having several outside walls made of plywood isn't helping. See, in this building, windows go from ceiling to floor. The previous owners of this house thought it'd be a good idea to close half of it with fake wall. Of course, fake wall is shitty against cold wind, and since now the window glass only covers half the window... do the maths. We are gonna freeze our butts off before New Year's Eve.
Last but not least -not by a long shot I'm afraid- I'm a little concerned with my budget until the end of the holiday season. No job companies calling me, I'm gonna end up working with Pops, but only on the second of next month and for the minimum wage. Everyone's well aware the holiday season fucks up wallets very easily, and mine isn't very healthy. I either find a way to save some serious cash 'til January, or I may as well start looking at the part-times from five to nine. Which is about as easy as picking your nose with boxing gloves.
Thursday Nov 27
Grandma went into surgery, Grandma came out of surgery, Grandpa beat it back to the South without waiting for the surgery results. And people say I'm exaggerating when I tell them he doesn't give a rat's ass for what happens to his wife. Marrying for fifty years never seems so stupid on itself as it does when I spend a few minutes with these two. Me, I fired up Manhunt 2 and killed a few people with syringes and pens. Very amusing - took me ages to get the game to work, but it's worth it. Rockstar games are awesome: easy controls, some of the best one-liners I've heard in a game ("I've got the hands of the Devil. That's why I jerk off." had me giggling like an idiot for quite some time) and likely a very nice story. Several Grand Theft Auto installments plus Canis Canem Edit cannot be proven wrong. Manhunt 2 is great.
Friday Nov 28
It hailed all day long: rain, rain, rain. I kinda like it when the weather's like this, provided I don't need to leave the house. Of course I wouldn't be so lucky: my brother weaseled out of shopping duties by finding himself an outing to the mall, and my Mum has a cold, so I eventually had to crawl out of my warm and comfy bed to face the elements for a loaf of bread, a box of coughing medicine and some milk. Apparently everyone in this block was expecting a mild November, like last year's, so they're all coughing, sniffing, sneezing, complaining and talking funny. The guy on the coffee shop whistles from one nostril when he breathes in too, in a display of possibly one of the most irritating and hilarious afflictions one can have due to a cold.
Saturday Nov 29
Bored. Spent the day sleeping. No cigarettes today. Also, Mum took up to playing Pokémon: Gold. I wonder what is it to Pokémon games that makes them so addicting. I'll be honest, I hate the franchise to kingdom come. There was a time, a couple years ago, when everywhere you looked, there was Pokémon. Every time I saw a Pikachu somewhere, I cringed. You couldn't walk out your door without spotting at least one kid with a toy, clothing item, backpack or Gameboy featuring Pokémon. And then it was suddenly gone, like all other fads... still, the games were -and are- sickeningly addictive.
I first played Pokémon Blue Version much before it was well-known here. It was one of those games you could get easily, bootleg for the PC. It took a while to reach this part of the world, since stories of epileptic kids having seizures because of it followed the franchise wherever it went. Still, I played the game, and loved it. Then the series debuted on national TV, and the shit hit the fan. Years ago, after finishing Silver, I said to myself I wasn't gonna pick it up again. 250 cute fuzzy animals to fetch is way too much.
Still, here I am. My Gameboy Color (the sea-green sort) still works, and Mum just started Gold so... she's bound to need some Pokemon from trading right? Ah, excuses... old habits die hard...
Sunday Nov 30
Manhunt 2 is great. Very stress-relieving. I managed to get my hands on an uncut copy. With the censorship on the normal copies, you can't see anything. And I mean it, you can't tell what the heck you're doing. Reminds me of the noise filter from Silent Hill: 0rigins, only three times as bad. And that you can turn off after beating the game, there's no turning off to Manhunt 2's censorship. There's probably nothing like being pissed at someone, go home, fire up one of these games and hack off some heads. I particularly like the bat: slam and half the head's gone. Seriously, everyone who enjoys a little gore with their game should get an uncut version. And all the talk about violence? Come on people, this isn't much worse than The Suffering and the controls are so much better.
Manhunt 2 was one of the most banned games I can recall. Europe didn't get it on all platforms and when it did, it had censorship up the butt. I heard somewhere it was recalled twice. Now I finally managed to get a working copy and -whataheck? This is nothing, people, it's GTA with more red pixels! If soccer mums are okay with their kids playing GTA this is just a step above! Besides, with all the warning labels on the cover, it should be enough for any impressionable kid's parent, provided he's paying attention half the time, not to let him play it until he's twenty-one! When did the rest of the world become so pussified...?
Known As: Seion Age: 24 and looking sharp Occupation: telemarketing operator Currently Likes: new place Currently Dislikes: moving! Last Comic Read: Tank Girl Last Manga Read: Yaiba vol. 36 Last Game Played: Shinobido Last Movie Seen: The Dark Knight (2008) Last Anime Seen: Detroit Metal City Current Song:November Rain by Guns n' Roses
Sudo! A Shady Scrap of a Sentient Scoundrel, Severed from this Scenery I be! A Somber, Sick and Solitary Señorita, Seasoned with Savoir-faire on Sloth, Sarcasm, Secrets and the Sort. A Shadow of my Sharper Self, now Surrounded by Shit, yet Summoning Strength from Surreal Sources. Sir! I have no Shelter or Seat in the System, but Silent I Stand not, I Shout! Serene but Sure, not Surely Sober, Sometimes Sappy, Shining Silver by the Sun! Should you be Shocked, I Shall Spell! You may call me...
#10 - The Little Mermaid 
