Weekly Log - 15 through 21

Monday Dec 15

I woke up with two problems today: my Mum, and my Pops. I'm tired of them talking to each other via me. It's the litigious divorce all over again: tell you father this, tell your mother that. The way these people carry, you'd think they never heard of telephones. Call each other, yell at each other, argue via smoke signs, send a pigeon for all I care, and much as it was with the divorce, I'll be at the nearby coffee shop when you decide what you wanna do.

I gotta get outta here. Called two job companies and checked the paper: there's gotta be something somewhere for me to do that pays minimum wage and has a more or less decent schedule. Damn, at this point, I don't care if it's construction working, sewage maintenance or picking up garbage: I just wanna get outta here. And I also want to avoid call centers like the plague. It's possibly the worst job, after the present, I can think of. This one wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't so much baggage actually, but it's not me who decides that shit.

Jobs will be on a low during the month, I figure. The lady on the temp job company told me there are few requests and maybe I'd be a little luckier by the beginning of January. Until then, seemingly, I remain in this tension-raising, brain-frying slow death.

Went to see the kid play Jew on his school play. Had a fairly decent time there, and he was grand. Funniest thing I've seen this month. He was also the best kid acting there, which I assume every parent said about their kids, but I'm the only one who actually is telling the truth.

Tuesday Dec 16

Mum is on break, so she went to the office with me. We called the Internet provider to inquire where the eff were out bills, and then called again to ask why the eff were they charging over for technical service. You need a master's degree to understand bills these days...

Wednesday Dec 17

Listening to Johnny Cash. Today I got the best news in a while, actually: Mum is well on her way to get a strong hold of this job and be paid a little more. It's nice because it's a job she likes, but I think she's finishing it with her health. She's been working breaks and weekends non-stop lately. As for me, still here, still bored. Pops also yelled with me again for obeying orders from my Mum. Crow, I remember times when they yelled at me for NOT obeying! Make up your mind already!

With the lack of stimulus to my brain (all I do is crosswords, play Gameboy and watch old episodes of The Golden Girls), the weird shit is starting to show up. I keep wondering, what is it a porn movie director jerks off to? Would the monks from an order that has sworn vows of silence rather yell "Fire!" and go to Hell, or stay quiet and burn a slow death? If you place two emos in a knife-fight, do they cut themselves instead of each other? If parents name their kids Daisy, Lily and Rose, how come I never met anyone named Dandelion? These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.

Thursday Dec 18

Still alive, still bored. Skipped lunch to go to the bank and ended up having a hamburger. Man, corner hamburger joints are the best. Two meat patties as thick as my finger, cheese and all the add-ons you can hold between two slices of hamburger bun that actually tastes like one, big serving of fries and a coke, less than five euros to pay. McDonald's can go screw itself for all I care.

I also took the chance to deliver a resume for a store, and bought me some flippin' sweet new headphones. Grandpa left me some cash for a Christmas gift. For the first time in a long while I don't need to have the PC sound maxed up to actually listen to something!

Friday Dec 19

My day began with a late arrival at work, since Mum wanted to go along to speak to Pops. I couldn't believe my ears: these two are actually gonna talk to each other, without interpreters? Scanning the skies for the Four Horsemen!

She asked for money, he said he didn't have any because he needed to pay expenses, she said we were nearly out of food in the house (which sadly, is very true...) and after she was gone, at the end of the day, he gave me some cash, telling us to be careful on spending. Who the eff does this guy thinks he's talking to?

More news from Grandma: she's getting worse. They're gonna send her to her sister's place, but much like my Mum, I'm foreseeing the worse.

Weekend Dec 20-21

Crow. I wish I could erase this stinkin' night from my stinkin' life. I also wish I had had some common sense before shit turned ugly: I consider myself perhaps mildly intelligent, but damn, I do some stupid shit sometimes.

My Saturday had been the shit. Home alone, I did some mild cleanup, and then resigned myself to look at the walls. I started to think. The more I thought the angrier I got. At a point, I just said "screw it" and went out to buy two bottles of beer. Later on, after those beers were done, I was still pissed. Some friends called me to tell they were in town, I agreed to go out with them, hoping to take some steam off me. What I did was, get heavily drunk and throw up. While I do feel a little better today (Sunday), even with the sore head, the acid feeling in the back of my throat and the upset stomach, I feel a bad for my friends. I wasn't the only one in the group, mind you, there was a guy there that was sick too, but still... Maybe this served as purging. I am feeling better, after all.