Weekly Log - 26 through 01

Monday Oct 26

A foggy morning to cheer me up. Feels like walking down the street in Silent Hill! The people could be makeshift monsters. I'll have my complimentary 3-foot lead pipe now.

I went to bed early to little avail. It just had me rolling about for a couple hours, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. I had this galloping toothache, which reminds me I need to go to the dentist pronto, and have no cash to. Plus, I'm not exactly crazy about dentists... they and I have had a very strange relationship throughout the years. See, they're people with drills who get intimate with the inside of my mouth, and I have this habit of hurting back the people who hurt me.

I'm gonna try for a male dentist. That way, once I'm lying down on that hideous, medieval device of a chair, I can grab him where I know I'll get his attention, and make sure we're not gonna hurt each other. (this gag is older than me - I saw it on Cheers)

The general hour went back 60 minutes today. We do this to make the best of our daylight time (hence why it's called daylight savings time), which is a pity, really. I still say it would be awesome if we all had a healthier dose of nighttime in our waking period. But that's me. I suppose for most, the night's only useful for sleeping. Well, the asswipes who camp under my window ought to think it's an awesome time to talk about their girlfriends and their cars (not necessarily in this order) and the joy of being a douchebag.

The team chief found out we've been exchanging non work related e-mails amongst ourselves, we were swiftly told to cut it out. Let the boredom reign free!

Tuesday Oct 27

Paid my Internet bill, got some credit on my cellphone and then cringed at the amount of money I have left in the bank. If you think time flies, wait 'til you see the euro soar...

I was on e-Learning today, which means the first two hours of my shift were spent going through a massive document concerning safety in handling information, how to keep anything and everything classified as a secret that way, and protecting my work against them vicious Internet fiends. Fairly interesting, except for the parts when the program assumed I had been living under a rock for the past ten years and explained in detail what a "browser" is.

Wednesday Oct 28

I went to the bank this morning to pay my debt, close my account and get a document for my Mum. I managed the first, but not the other two. Once again proof that the bank makes it much easier for you to give than to receive. It seems my Mum is also on the account, so I can't close it without her signature, and they didn't let me get the document I was supposed to bring because, well, the document's not meant for me.

I'm glad I'm gonna close the account. It's about time. With Mum's debts, it's best if her name isn't anywhere near mine or my brother's. Her own debt may screw me over, and I do work at a bank now. I know they have ways of knowing if I owe anyone anything. Plus I'm up to here with that bank in particular. Account migration without permission, debts on a credit card nobody's picked up for almost a year, a lot of shady and stupid issues with the rent... I'm outta here as soon as I can. No use for three bank accounts anyway.

Mum hollered a lot about the document on the phone when I told her. Hollering which wasn't meant for me, but which I heard anyway. Common occurrence: when someone needs to shout around here, I am always somehow on the receiving end of the decibels. They yell at me first, to rehearse for the yelling with whomever they need to. Then when they meet whoever deserves the yelling, they are able to speak more calmly. Communication at my place was weird.

Brother, let me get to work... the faster I deal with the shift, the faster I get home, the faster I get my noise-proof headset on. I made an arrangement to have a beer with someone on the way, clear my head off all the bullshit.

Thursday Oct 29

Well, it looks like this is a day when Murphy is hellbent on fucking with me. I was seen polishing my nails on the job yesterday for about fifteen seconds. One of the nails was getting stuck on my shirt and upsetting me like Hell, so I polished it. But since I was seen (and I could swear to crow I know who it was) and the person who saw me had the decency and principle of complaining to my team chief instead of telling me not to do it. I got a behavioral warning.

Awesome. Just awesome. Like I've said many times before, there is a cow at every job, or a douchebag, and you just need to figure ot who it is. I found one of them out! You know: the kind who won't correct you, and instead reports your wrongful behavior to the super. The kind who will take not of what you do, and report it when you're doing the best. The kind who will smile at you with every teeth and stab you between the shoulderblades when you turn.

Then my last call was a refusal. A 29 minute refusal. No time to recover my hit ratio. Thank you, asshole. A simple "I have no interest in participating" would've sufficed, and taken about a minute to wrap up!

Because my last call took so long, the team chief ended up not giving me feedback I was supposed to get today. She wouldn't even tell me the grade - in fact, she complained I was too worried about the grade and not the indications in the back. And when I tried to explain it was just so I wouldn't be thinking about it for the rest of the weekend, she took the chance to scold me a little more. Thank you too. That's all I need right now. More stress.

I'm gonna stop trying to correct her about me when she's wrong. It's a waste of fuckin' time. She's obviously made up her mind about who I am and seemingly can predict my behavior as is, so, to Hell with wasting saliva on her. As long as she can't fire me, I can act up to her expectations for four hours a day.

I bought some beer and went home to drown down the day. I called Mum on the way and told her how my day had been, hoping to hear a nice voice in an otherwise shitty day. She scolded me again for wanting to learn the grade.

... Crank up the volume of my headset, open the beer and let the night slide in. I don't feel like hearing myself think.

Friday Oct 30

My plans for today: get my four hour shift out of the way. Go over anything and everything that might upset me. Get my ass to the mall. Buy some clothes, a couple supplies and booze. Go home. Drink beer. Become comatose to the world until next Monday. Hajime.

Upcoming movie Avatar has caught my attention, because sci-if is win. James Cameron directs it, possibly trying to make up for the fact Titanic was a huge flop (HA!), although I have a feeling I know the movie end to end from the trailer alone. Looks like The Last Samurai with spaceships and blue aliens.

Halloween reached the center. We had a "theme day" about it. I was also put in charge of a complicated survey, different from the ones I've been doing up until now. I wish I knew why. Maybe they like the way I speak. Maybe they wanna see how I can handle it. Maybe they felt like it, crow, who knows? The point is, I was allocated to other functions.

Left work and made for the mall. Tried some clothes on, but selection was poor, and I ended up not bringing anything back. Got my groceries, my daily dose of alcohol, went home, prepared to watch The Dark Knight once and for all, and started working on passing out. Have a nice weekend.

Weekend Oct 31 - 01

I wanted to head out for a Halloween party, but I have a birthday party. I ate, I drank, and when I started to want to cry, I figured it was time to go home. Booze isn't doing what it should. I usually keeps me in a good mood. Lately, I just wanna go down in tears every time I drink. What the fuck is wrong?

This weekend we seemingly had Samhain... no dead relatives came to visit me, not that I saw at least. Even if they did, I don't think they'd wanna stick around anyway. Ghosts make lousy drunks and my place is cold as a bitch.