Disney bought WHAT?!

Alright. I'm pissed, and I'm about to write an article which is strictly a matter of personal opinion. Skip this if there's any problem with that.

I do not await something like Penny Arcade parodied today, I know it seems like it, but I'm not that dumb. Still, let me explain exactly what causes me to become a teensy weensy pissed at the deal that happened just this week.

As you probably overheard already, Disney bought Marvel for US$ 4 billion. A bargain, considering how much Marvel was discredited in the past few years, in my humble opinion. First and foremost, kids nowadays don't give as much value to comic books as my generation did, and would rather spend their bling on cellphone plans and faster Internet connections (which proves, once again, nothing is sacred as soon as the Internet comes into the picture, but that's hardly the point). Marvel fucked up pretty much and pretty bad in its day, not in one but all of their many, many, many, many comic books and cartoon series. Even the movies in which the company had been involved backfired horribly. Constant deaths and rebirths of the same guys tend to discredit a comic book company. And most of the treasured Marvel heroes are now too old and too jaded from their original selves to be of any real interest both for the older and newer crew. I cannot honestly say the company being sold comes as a surprise.

You know what other company people don't give much of a damn for as well? Disney. When I was a kid, Disney stood for high quality cartoons. Nowadays, they've become just one more cartoon company, as I see it. And I don't say I dislike Disney at this point, but rather that I moved on to other interests. I have nothing against Disney - it's how they do things. At this point, I don't give much of a damn for theme songs in cartoons (even if I can still sing the Portuguese version of two or three songs from The Lion King) or happy endings. Hence why, at a point, I turned to Marvel. Sometimes there were happy endings and sometimes the shit hit the fan. I don't care much for the same bloody characters over and over again (because let's face it, Disney has a penchant for stereotype just like any other company...), and in wanting to see some different ones, I also turned to Marvel. Plus, Marvel already had merchandise up the ass, but Disney takes the cake here. It's been eighteen bloody years since The Beauty and the Beast came out, and I'm still seeing Belle's face stamped on clothing, toys, school supplies and party decorations. Not even Wolverine or Spiderman, arguably two of Marvel's favored heroes, have that much stuff.

So for starters we have a company that only gets some success nowadays through other companies (name me a Disney movie, in the last five or so years, that wasn't made by Pixar Studios) buying a company that's been disappointing a good deal of their fans for a while now. I treasure Marvel heroes dearly, but it's been years since I've bought a comic - for me, the minute they disclosed Wolverine's past and tried to make sense of all the shit storywriters have done with his life since the 60's was the minute they lost me. I haven't given a flying crow for Disney since I was a little kid and despite having extensively read several older comics of my favorites, like I said, I haven't given Marvel any of my money for years. Supposedly, I have no grounds for complaints, so why am I even writing all this?

Because I like Marvel heroes and I like movies and cartoons, that's why.

Disney being a cartoon company, with Pixar studios on their back to boot, of course they'll want to cash in on Marvel heroes' popularity and go for a media the geeky fans actually still respond to: the silver screen. Several new cartoon series are in the making, crow only know how many movies are being planned... and of course, the shit stain wouldn't be smelly enough without Marvel-related rides at Disneyland. In a way, maybe Disney can do something for the X-Men series. Did you ever watch Evolution? Better yet, did you see what they did to Deadpool in X-men Origins: Wolverine? Do you see what my problem is?!

At this point you're probably saying, 'But Seion, you angered goddess of a woman, Disney has already stated that they will give the Marvel staff all the creative license they once had! It's not like they're implanting censorship!' Given. And we've seen what Marvel did on its own, why not let someone else call the shots and see if things work out a little better? Of course if you've known Disney for a while, you know they're not the sort to interfere with this sort of thing. Oooh, of COURSE not! (In case I didn't make it clear enough, I'm being sarcastic). You may also say, 'But Seion, you dazzling beauty, does this mean you will stop watching every single new movie and series that comes out with your heroes in it?', to which I'll have to reply that no, I won't, because I'm a sucker for certain brands and trademarks (namely, Wolverine). The difference is that I always watched everything else they did in the past hoping it would be good. They've set the circus on fire now and I'm just going in to see it burn.

By the by, I just read on related news Stan Lee is thrilled with the acquisition. In case you don't know yet, you should be warned the man has been mental for years.